Monday, May 29th 2000:  Monday Night Mutilation
Card #6 - Match #3

SuperBeast Vs. Condom Man

Authour:  Frank Landry (Chrono) [Commissioner]
Match:  Hardcore.
Rules:  None, standard pin.
Titles: None.
Commentators:  Iaian McBride, James Colburn
_____________________________________________________________________

McBride: All right! Here comes our next match.

Colburn: This is going to be the saddest match in history. Condom Man 
        is facing SuperBeast in a hardcore match.

McBride: This is probably going to be one of the shortest matches in 
        history.

(Lights go completely light blue, and the music starts. A watch appears 
 on the big screen and the hands are spinning fast. He walks out slowly.
 He raises his left hand to the air because his right arm has a cast on
 it.  Lasers start shooting off. He walks towards the announcer’s table 
 and sits down)

Colburn: Why are you here?

Chrono: I wanted to see the slaughter up front.

McBride: I guess that works.

(I Wanna F*** You Like An Animal by NiN starts playing. Condom Man gets
 pushed out and tries to walk down with dignity, constantly tripping
 over his feet.)

Gothic: Now entering the ring the victim.......

Colburn: I think people were waiting for him to say something else.

Chrono: Well, he is telling the truth.

McBride: Yeah, so be quiet you old fart.

("Of Wolf And Man" starts playing and SuperBeast just charges out 
 towards the ring. He gets into the ring and starts punching Condom man.)

Chrono: Wow, Gothic didn’t have time to say anything.

Colburn: I guess SuperBeast really wanted to get things started 
        especially since Condom Man impersonated him.

(SuperBeast choke tosses Condom Man then starts stomping on him.)

Chrono: Man this fight is going to be over without the use of weapons.

McBride: Yeah man, this is a hardcore match, we want weapons.

(As Condom Man lays on the floor, SuperBeast goes out and grabs a
 broomstick from underneath the ring.)

Chrono: You’ll find anything under that ring.

(SuperBeast gets back in the ring and starts beating Condom Man over
 the head with the stick. Condom Man starts bleeding)

McBride: Man this fight is getting boring.

(The lights go out.)

Colburn: What’s going on?

(-Orchestral-One Winged Angel starts playing.)

Chrono: Whose music is that? That isn’t one of our guys.

McBride: Then whose is it?

(The lights come back on and SuperBeast gets smashed on the head with
 a metal baseball bat from a man completely dressed in black.  
 SuperBeast’s head starts bleeding.)

Colburn: Who the heack in that?

(Condom Man gets back up just to get hit by the same metal baseball bat.
 Condom Man falls to the ground knocked out.)

McBride: Now this is getting interesting.

(The man in black pulls out a sword and walks toward SuperBeast)

Colburn: Hey Chrono, where ya going?

(Chrono gets into the ring. The man in black starts swinging his sword 
 towards SuperBeast but it is parried by Chrono’s cast and sparks starts
 flying off.)

McBride: Is that cast made of metal?

(SuperBeast gets back up)

Colburn: SuperBeast doesn’t look to happy.

(The man is black steps back. Chrono take off his cast and throws it 
 towards the man in black hitting him in the head. Chrono and SuperBeast
 charge him giving him a double clothesline over the top rope and he 
 dropped his sword.)

McBride: I guess this match has some new players.

Colburn: Looks that way.

(Chrono and SuperBeast get out of the ring. Chrono brings the man to 
 his feet and whips him towards SuperBeast. SuperBeast tosses the man 
 over the railing, into the crowd. Chrono and SuperBeast jump over the
 railing and they bring the man to his feet. They start dragging him 
 towards the snack bar. They throw him over the counter.)

McBride: Man look, Condom Man is still knocked out. I guess that guy 
        hit him pretty hard.

(Chrono jumps over the counter only to get allow blow by the man. The 
 man gets up and throws a cutting knife at SuperBeast hitting his
 shoulder. SuperBeast starts bleeding. The man in black picks up a tub 
 of hot gravy and dumps it onto Chrono.)

Colburn: That is going to leave a mark.

(SuperBeast pulls the knife out of his shoulder and throws it at the man
 in black. The knife hits the man in the lower part of his arm. Chrono
 gets up and grabs the man in black. Chrono wipes the hot gravy off of
 his face with the man’s clothing. Chrono tosses the man over the 
 counter into SuperBeast’s knee.)

McBride: Chrono looks pissed. Hey Condom man is getting back up and he
        is walking towards where the action is.

(SuperBeast and Chrono both whip the man in black through the door that
 leads to the parking lot. Condom man head out there. Chrono goes to his
 truck and pulls out his katana and plunges it into the man in black’s
 other shoulder. SuperBeast sees Condom man and gives him a back 
 breaker. The man in black runs away when Chrono pulled the sword out of
 his shoulder. SuperBeast picks up Condom Man, takes Chrono’s sword, and
 hits Condom man in the head with the hilt. SuperBeast gives the sword 
 back and pins Condom man...1....2....3.)

Colburn: Well this match is over.

McBride: That was cool, but I wonder who that man in black was.