Monday, May 15th 2000:  Monday Night Mutilation
Card #4 - Match #4

Iaian McBride vs. James Colburn

Authour:  Frank Landry [Commissioner]
Match:  Announcer's Table Match
Rules:  Standard, no out, Break table over opponent to win.
Titles: None.
Commentators: Psycho Psychic, Chrono

_____________________________________________________________________


McBride: This is the final match and it's between you and me, old fart.

Colburn: I am going to enjoy kicking your hippie butt all over this ring
        and smashing you through this announcer’s table.

McBride: You’re all talk, come on lets get into the ring so you can lose.

(McBride and Colburn get into the ring. The referee keeps them away
 from each other.  Gothic appears on the Viewscreen.)

Gothic: Time for our special guest announcers. The first announcer is 
       the biggest guy in HDW. This is his last day on the job, Psycho
       Psychic.

(The lights turn off. Psycho's music starts and the lights turn on as a
 blood red color. Mist rises up on the stage and when it clears,  Psycho
 Psychic is standing on the stage. The lights turn to a dark eery blue
 and Psycho Psychic starts walking down the ramp. Light-type pictures of
 souls are moving around, moaning and groaning in pain as Psycho Psychic
 is walking down the ramp. Psycho Psychic gets into the announcer’s 
 chair.)

Psycho: The stench of death is here. Their souls will leave their 
       lifeless bodies. Their bodies will decay to nothing.

Gothic: Shut up. If all your speeches are that annoying, I'm glad 
       you're leaving. Now for the second announcer. He is the guy that
       is replacing your position: Chrono

("Engel" by Rammstien plays. The lights turns pale blue. Chrono walks 
 out onto the stage. He raises his arms and lasers start shooting off. 
 He walks down the ramp and into the other announcer’s chair.  The 
 lights go back to normal.)

Chrono: Well, let's get this match under way. There goes the bell and
       both men are in the tie up.

(Colburn has McBride in a headlock. McBride gives Colburn an atomic 
 drop and clotheslines him from behind.  Colburn stand McBride up onto 
 his feet only to get an elbow in the gut. Colburn bounces off the
 ropes and spears Colburn.)

Chrono: I’m impressed. That old man sure has some determination in him.

Psycho: His old body will not last and he will decay.

(Colburn is stomping his foot onto McBride’s chest and puts him into a 
 sleeper hold. McBride grabs onto the ropes and the referee breaks them
 apart. McBride gets up and dropkick’s Colburn. He grabs onto McBride’s
 legs and does a falling headbutt onto Colburn’s groinal area.)

Chrono: I guess that hurt.

Psycho: Like the old bastard was going to have kids. It’s probably like
       a rotten peanut down there.

Chrono: Did you grow up in a graveyard or something?

(McBride picks up Colburn and gives him a suplex.)

Psycho: Why, yes I did.

(McBride goes for a leg drop but Colburn rolled out of the way.)

Chrono: I was joking. You were serious.

(Colburn gets up and starts punching McBride. McBride is backed up 
 into a corner where Colburn is giving him knee strikes to the gut.)

Psycho: That old fool can’t keep up with that offense forever. His 
       frail body will give up sooner or later.

(McBride headbutts Colburn and gives him a facecrusher. McBride bring 
 Colburn to his feet and tosses him over the ropes. McBride leaves the
 ring.)

Chrono: Now maybe this match can end. I’ve got better things to do.

(Colburn gets up and McBride takes his head and slams it into the 
 guardrail. He bring Colburn toward the announcer’s table.)

Psycho: Well it looks like this match is over.

Chrono: Yep the old man is going to get it now.

Psycho: What are you talking about? The old man is going to win.

Chrono: Oh please. You really believe that frail old fart is going 
       to win?

(McBride brings Colburn to the announcer’s table and trys to slam his 
 head into the table, but Colburn counters and slams McBride’s head into 
 the table. He whips McBride into the stairs. Colburn picks up McBride
 and brings him to the table.)

Chrono: What in the world is he doing?

Psycho: Looks like he is going to give McBride a powerbomb.

Chrono: Colburn looks tired. I don’t think he can do it?

Psycho: He has McBride into position and he brings him up.

Chrono: And down goes McBride! Right through the table! He won!

Psycho: Oh look, he broke his back giving that hippie a powerbomb. I
       guess he needs a paramedic. Well speak of the devil, here they
       come now.

Chrono: Without a doubt, that was the shortest match I've ever seen.

Psycho: They were both pathetic mortals, what did you expect?

Chrono: Yeah...

Psycho: I'm leaving.

Chrono: What are you doing?

Psycho: Tradition.

Chrono: Huh?

(Psycho walks up to a camera and punches it. He picks up the cameraman 
 and walk away. The cameraman is screaming in terror. Psycho walks out 
 of the arena with the cameraman over his shoulder.)

Chrono: Someone get a camera out there so I can see the carnage.

(A camera starts following Psycho to the graveyard. There is an open
 grave and Psycho gives the cameraman a graveyard slam. He then gives
 him a hell raiser into the grave. Psycho gets out of the grave and 
 buries the cameraman alive.)

Chrono: Wow, cool.

(Psycho looks at the camera, takes his staff, and hits the camera.)

Chrono: Well thems the breaks. I guess I'll close tonight.