Monday, May 8th 2000:  Monday Night Mutilation
Card #3 - Match #1

DAND Vs. Apocalypse

Authour:  Jeff Davidson (Grim Reaper) [Assistant CEO]
Match:  Hardcore.
Rules:  None.
Announcers:  James Colburn,  Iaian McBride.

______________________________________________________________________


Colburn:  Welcome to the first Monday Night Mutilation!

McBride: James, that's not fair, you've started off all the other ones!

Colburn: Goddamnit Iaian, shut up.  Anyway,  our first match of the 
        evening will be very interesting indeed, but first let's look at 
        some highlights from last Friday.

(The Viewscreen flickers on and highlights begin playing.)

McBride: We had three matches last night, the first of which was Alena 
        Carmine Vs. Nadia.

Colburn: They were in excellent performance that evening,  I swear I've 
        never seen people move that fast before.

McBride: Yes, the only strange thing was the way it ended.  I've never 
        seen a wrestler laugh after losing.

Colburn: Or having the winner help the loser stand, those two should be 
        interesting to watch in the future.

McBride: Yeah (sigh).

Colburn: Can't you keep it in your pants for more then one minute?

McBride: Ha ha.  Our next match was a tag-team match which had it's ups 
        and downs.

Colburn: Mostly SuperBeast constantly getting up and putting the other 
        team down. Man, that guy went through so much, let's hope he has 
        better luck in a savage match against Virus tonight.

McBride: To finish this up quickly, the last match of the evening was 
        interesting indeed.  That little b*tch interrupted us again for 
        the second time now!

Colburn: Except this time he went out with a big enough bang to take out 
        the entire floor.  I hope you taped that match, because way too 
        much stuff happened to cover it adequately at all.

McBride: Man, that guy better get what's coming to him tonight.

Colburn: Don't worry, Alena will put him in his place.

McBride: It’s now time for some hardcore fun.

Colburn: That’s right. DAND and Apoc have been exchanging insults and 
        explosions for a while so now it’s time to settle it in the ring.

McBride: Or out of the ring, since it’s hardcore.

Colburn: Oh yeah. Man, this match is gonna be brutal.

McBride: Definitely. These two guys hate each other’s guts, especially 
        since they destroyed each other’s vehicles.

Colburn: Well, hey, at least they went with a bang.

(The havoc viewscreen flickers to life and we see Gothic)

Gothic: Alright people, the first match is a non-title hardcore match 
       between DAND and Apocalypse. First, drag DAND’s worthless carcass 
       out here. Oh yeah, almost forgot, he weighs...ah, who the hell 
       cares what he weighs, bring him out!

(Electricity arcs to the stage and firework-type explosions go off on the 
 stage. Trigger Happy by Wierd Al hits and DAND drives out on his 
 motorcycle [same model as the one Apoc fried, but different bike] with 
 Cori Nadine riding on the back. He drives down the ramp and parks the 
 bike by the side. He and Cori get off the bike and he goes halfway around 
 the ring giving people high-fives. DAND and Cori climb into the ring and 
 DAND throws his sunglasses into the crowd. The crowd is cheering like 
 crazy. DAND calls for a mic and a techie throws him one.)

DAND: Well, I promised you Cori would be back, so here she is.

( DAND hands the mic to Cori and the famous titz chant starts up.)

Cori: Wow, haven’t heard that in awhile. I also haven’t said this in 
     awhile, you wanna see what’s under this shirt? Go on the internet and 
     wank at my pics you pervs.

(The audience ceases their chanting as Gothic clears his throat over the 
 speakers.)

Gothic: Alright, first of all, welcome back to the lovely Cori. And second 
       of all, bring out Apoc. No one cares what he weighs so just bring 
       him out.

(No music hits, no pyros go off. DAND and Cori exit the ring as Apoc and 
 Karen come out from the back with Karen carrying a metal chair. The crowd 
 begins to boo. DAND and Apoc run at each other and clash on the ramp. 
 They both fall down and Apoc begins to pummel DAND.  Karen just walks 
 past and sits on the security railing nearby, Cori sits on DAND’s new 
 bike.)

Colburn: Alright, the bell just rang and we’re already underway.

McBride: Apoc is viciously punching at DAND’s face, and DAND has to be 
        fast to block most of the punches.

(Apoc continues savagely beating DAND’s face, until DAND manages to find a 
 break and push Apoc to the side. DAND then gets on top of Apoc and starts 
 repaying the favor. Both women look on, slightly amused.)

Colburn: This isn’t even a wrestling match, it’s a backalley brawl.

McBride: Well, Apoc said he was through with the great wrestling, looks 
        like all he wants to do is inflict the most pain in any way he 
        can.

(Apoc kicks DAND off and they both stand up quickly. Both of them have 
 bleeding lips. Apoc runs up the ramp at DAND and attempts a spear, but 
 DAND reverses it into a monkey flip. Apoc lands hard on the metal.)

McBride: Nice move.

Colburn: Yeah, but Apoc is back up already and this time he lands that 
        spear.

(Apoc and DAND both land hard on the metal. But Apoc gets back up and goes 
 to the ring. He reaches under and brings out a table with some junk on 
 it. He grabs a small metal pipe. DAND, in the meantime, gets up and runs 
 at Apoc. Apoc turns just in time to get a running drop kick from DAND. 
 Apoc goes down and DAND grabs the metal pipe. Before he can hit Apoc with 
 it, Karen comes up from behind him and nails him with the chair in the 
 back of the head. DAND goes down and Karen helps Apoc up.)

McBride: I saw that coming from miles away.

Colburn: Hey, what’s Cori up to?

(Cori reaches down on DAND’s bike and pulls up..a metal bat wrapped in 
 barbwire. She gets a good grip on it and then runs at Karen. Karen 
 doesn’t notice before it is too late and Cori nails her with the bat.  
 Karen goes down, holding her forehead, then Cori nails Apoc. He goes down 
 on top of DAND.  The ref gets a two count but DAND gets up just before 
 the three.)

McBride: A cheap shot for a cheap shot. Cori takes the bat back to DAND’s 
        bike and sits back down.

Colburn: Karen is bleeding a bit from her forehead, but she manages to 
        find a place to sit by the guardrail, well away from Cori.

McBride: DAND now taking Apoc up the ramp and onto the stage.

(DAND reaches the stage and keeps going, but Apoc comes back to life and 
 nails DAND with a hard punch to the gut. DAND stops dead in his tracks 
 and Apoc gives him a quick body slam onto the stage, followed by a quick 
 elbow drop. Just for extra insurance, Apoc gives him a fast DDT. Then 
 proceeds to take DAND outside.)

Colburn: I think we have a camera guy out there already don’t we?

McBride: Yes we do, the viewscreen should come on anytime now.

(The viewscreen flickers on and we see DAND throwing Apoc into a brick 
 wall, just outside the parking area.)

McBride: What the hell? When did this happen?

Colburn: Damn, we missed it. DAND must have turned it around before we 
        could get the camera set up.

(DAND grabs a mic from someone nearby and then attacks Apoc with it. A 
 loud ringing sound comes over the speakers.)

McBride: Ow! That hurt my ears.

Colburn: What? What did you say?

McBride: I said...nevermind.

(DAND makes sure Apoc is down for a while then raises the mic.)

DAND: Alright, now I’m gonna do what I promised I would do. I am gonna 
     show you my newest move. Napalm Strike!

(He drops the mic and waits.)

McBride: I’ve been wondering what his new move was.

Colburn: I really couldn’t care less..hey Apoc is getting up!

(As Apoc gets to his feet, DAND climbs onto the hood of a nearby semi. 
 Apoc stands up and shakes his head, then looks around for DAND. He sees 
 him on the hood of the semi and runs toward him. DAND then leaps into the 
 air and does a 180 degree forward flip, Apoc can’t stop in time and DAND 
 grabs him by the head and does a spinning neckbreaker in the air. They 
 both come crashing to the ground.)

Colburn: Holy sh*t! That move was insane!

McBride: I thought you could care less?

Colburn: Yeah, but, man, is Apoc alive?

McBride: They both are, they both are slowly getting up.

(DAND takes the mic he had and tries to hit Apoc with it, but he is too 
 dazed and it just falls out of his hand. Apoc then tries to punch DAND 
 but can’t seem to get his fist to go forward. DAND’s eyes roll back and 
 he collapses onto the ground. Apoc manages to roll DAND onto his back and 
 then falls lifelessly onto him. The ref counts...1...2...3.)

Colburn: It’s over! Apoc and DAND are both out, but Apoc had just enough 
        energy left to get the pin!

McBride: An odd ending to an odd match.

Colburn: Nothing odd about it. It was a brawl from beginning to end, minus 
        that one amazing move by DAND.

McBride: There goes Cori...and Karen. Two ambulances have arrived and they 
        are putting DAND and Apoc into them. Karen climbs in with Apoc and 
        Cori climbs in with DAND.

Colburn: Cori seems to like that bat as she still has it with her.

(Suddenly, a strange person in all black clothing takes DAND’s bike out 
 from the building.)

McBride: Who the heck is that?

Colburn: Is he stealing DAND’s bike?

McBride: Well, if he is, that’s two bikes DAND will have lost.

Colburn: Just isn’t his week for bikes, I guess.

McBride: Hey, there go the ambulances. Looks like they are taking them to 
        seperate hospitals.

Colburn: I don’t doubt it. If those two were in the same hospital they 
        wouldn’t have enough security to keep them away from each other.

McBride: Not to mention there might not even be a hospital left at the end 
        of it.

Colburn: There is that too.

(The havoc viewscreen flickers back on once again and we see an office. A 
 t.v. is turned on showing the picture we are seeing now, and Gothic is 
 lying on a couch, snoring.)

McBride: I think it’s safe to say we know his opinion on the match.

Colburn: Speaking of him, I wonder if we’ll ever get to see him wrestle?

Mcbride: Who knows, and as he would probably say, who cares.