Monday, June 19 2000: Monday Night Mutilation
Card #9 - Match #5

DAND Vs. Mysterious Wrestler

Authour:  Frank Landry (Chrono) [Commissioner]
Match:  "I Quit" match.
Rules:  Say "I Quit" to lose.
Titles: Harcore.
Commentators:  Johnny Coal, James Colburn

____________________________________________________________________

Johnny: Well this match is going to get interesting.

Colburn: That’s right, some mysterious wrestler challenged the new 
        psychopathic DAND to an I Quit match for the hardcore belt.

McBride: I don’t know about you, but I am putting my money on DAND.

(Du Hast plays on the speakers. The lights go out. A bright light comes
 from behind the stage and a dark figure is standing there. The light goes
 out.)

Colburn: Well there is the mysterious wrestler. I wonder who he is.

(Four explosions erupt from the turnbuckles and the lights come back on 
 to see Shadow in the ring.)

Johnny: What!? Shadow is alive?

(The audience is booing)

Shadow: Shut up! You all thought Limousine Driver decapitated me, well 
       guess what: that idiot [Editor's Note: Uh oh, Quinn won't be happy
       about this one.] decapitated some pathetic soul who had plastic 
       surgery to look like me. Now where is DAND so I can kick his a$$.

(Shadow walks around the ring waiting. One of the lights crashes behind
 him.)

Colburn: What the?

(Everyone looks up)

Johnny: Look! There’s DAND. He’s on the rails cutting down the lights. 
        Here comes another one.

(DAND cuts another light and it almost hit Shadow again.)

Colburn: How in the world did he get up there?

(DAND runs to the end of the arena where the Havoc viewscreen is. DAND
 climbs down on a rope.)

Johnny: Well that answers your question.

(DAND charges the ring while Shadow picks up one of the lights. Shadow 
 throws the light and it hits DAND in the head. DAND falls to the ground. 
 His head starts bleeding.)

Colburn: That must of hurt. 

Johnny: Not for DAND remember. Look he’s getting back up like it was 
        nothing.

(DAND heads underneath the ring.)

Colburn: What in the world is going to do under there?

(A blade emerges from under the ring right infront of Shadow.)

DAND: Oops I missed. I guess I will have to try again.

(Shadow backs away and another blade emerges. Shadow jumps out of the
 ring.)

Johnny: Now that is a smart move.

(DAND leaps out from under the ring and sinks his teeth into Shadow’s leg.
 Shadow screams in pain. Shadow starts to kick DAND in the head but he is 
 not letting go.  Shadow’s leg starts bleeding.)

Colburn: Just like a pitbull.

(DAND lets go and stand up. Shadow limps backwards and grabs a chair. 
 Shadow hits DAND over the head with the chair.)

Johnny: That didn’t even phase him. It just got him more pissed off.

(Shadow tries to hit DAND over the head with the chair again but DAND 
 grabs it.  DAND kicks Shadow in the groin and then hits him over the 
 head with the chair)

DAND: Now that is how you do it. As for you two, you can shut up.

Colburn: I think he was talking about us.

(DAND hits Colburn and Johnny over the head with the chair. They both go
 unconscience.)

DAND: That’s better.

(Shadow gets back up and spears DAND from behind. They both go over the
 announcer’s table. They both get back up and starts punching each other. 
 DAND kicks Shadow in the balls and knees him in the face. DAND grabs
 Shadow by the head and starts slamming it into the bell. DAND tosses
 Shadow over the guard rail. DAND goes and grabs a metal baseball bat,
 jumps over the rail, and hits Shadow over the head with the bat. DAND 
 throws the bat away hitting an audience member. DAND picks up Shadow by 
 the hair and drags him through the audience. Colburn and Johnny wake up.)

Colburn: I feel like I was hit by a bus

Johnny: Man, I can’t believe he did that.

Colburn: I can. At least he didn’t kill us like everyone else. So where
        are they?

Johnny: Well lets go to the viewscreen.

(DAND drags Shadow to the cafeteria. DAND powerbombs Shadow through a 
 table.  DAND heads behind the counter while Shadow slowly gets up. DAND 
 opens up a fridge and starts throwing glass jars at Shadow. Shadow
 manages to dodge the first tow but gets hit in the chest by the third.)

Colburn: DAND is going easy on him. I wonder why?

Johnny: Maybe DAND is just toying with Shadow before he goes in for the
        kill.

(DAND jumps back over the counter, grabs Shadow by the legs, and tosses 
 him out of the cafeteria.)

Colburn: This is just a one-sided match.

(Shadow limps through the crowd back to the ring. DAND follows.)

Colburn: Oh great. They’re coming back here.

(Shadow leaps over the rail and grabs the bell. DAND leaps over only to
 get hit in the head by the bell. Shadow continues to hit DAND over the
 head with the bell but DAND doesn’t go down. DAND starts laughing while 
 Shadow continues to hit him over the head with the bell.)

Shadow: Don’t you feel pain?!

(DAND grabs the bell and headbutts Shadow. Shadow moves back holding his
 head.  DAND drop-kicks Shadow in the head. Shadow falls to the ground and 
 DAND starts stomping on him.)

Johnny: I don’t think Shadow can take much more of this.

Colburn: This is nothing. DAND hasn’t even done half the the things he
        was doing before.

(Shadow grabs DAND’s foot and twist the ankle. A huge snap can be heard.
 DAND looks down, limps over the the stairs, and snaps the ankle back in 
 place. Shadow slowly gets back up.)

Colburn: I think I’m going to be sick.

(DAND starts walking toward the stage. Shadow grabs one of the steps and
 throws it at DAND. DAND gets hit in the back of the head with the steps,
 falls down, and gets back up like it was nothing.)

Johnny: What is DAND up to? He is never this calm.

Colburn: I don’t like it.

(DAND heads backstage with Shadow following him. DAND head into a 
 closet. Shadow just waits. DAND charges out with a sledgehammer in his
 hands. He swings at Shadow, but Shadow dodges out of the way. DAND make 
 a hole in the concrete floor.)

Colburn: Uh oh. I think DAND has gone psychotic again.

Johnny: What was your first clue?

(DAND swings at Shadow’s head. Shadow ducks and DAND his the wall, 
 smashing a hole in it. Shadow backs up into a pop machine. DAND 
 charges Shadow. Shadow trips DAND and he smashes into the machine. DAND
 falls to the ground and Shadow drops the machine onto DAND.)

Colburn: I think that’s it for DAND.

(DAND starts lifting the machine.)

Johnny: I think you are wrong.

(Shadow grabs the sledge and hits the machine, pushing it back down
 onto DAND.  DAND continues to lift the machine.)

Shadow: Don’t you know how to give up?

(Shadow raises the sledge to hit the machine again but DAND’s hand grabs 
 Shadow by the injured leg and flips him to the ground. DAND gets out
 from under the machine.)

Colburn: I think Shadow is gonna get it now.

(DAND grabs Shadow by the head and smashes it into the coffee despenser, 
 breaking the plastic case. Shadow falls the the ground as DAND rips out
 one of the coffee holders and dumps boiling hot coffee on Shadow. Shadow
 yells in pain.)

Johnny: Now that has to sting.

(DAND picks up Shadow and hits Shadow in the elbow. A huge snap is heard
 and Shadow is really yelling in pain.)

Colburn: Is the elbow supposed to go in that direction?

Johnny: I don’t think it does.

(DAND starts draging Shadow to a door. He opens the door and sticks
 Shadow’s head through it. DAND starts slamming the door on Shadow’s head. 
 DAND picks Shadow up by his hair and knees him in the spine. Shadow 
 yells in utter pain. Shadow starts coughing up blood.)

Colburn: He don’t look so good. But DAND isn’t as psychotic as he used
        to be.

Johnny: Maybe he is saving it for the tag team match.

(DAND drags Shadow to the parking lot and heads for a semi. DAND puts 
 Shadow on the hood of the semi and climbs up. DAND drags Shadow to the
 top of the semi and starts stomping on his chest. DAND picks up Shadow,
 puts him over his shoulder and walks to the edge of the semi.)

Colburn: He wouldn’t...

Johnny: He would.

Colburn: He’s going to Atom Bomb him onto that car there.

Shadow: Alright, alright, I quit! Happy now?

DAND: Nope.

Shadow: Huh?

(DAND atom bombs Shadow off the semi onto the car. They make a big dent
 in the roof and Shadow’s head goes through. DAND gets up and walks away.)

Colburn: Well that does it. DAND has defended his title.

Johnny: And here come those nice looking paramedics.