Monday, June 19 2000: Monday Night Mutilation Card #9 - Match #2 Dark Angel Vs. Iaian McBride Authour: Alexander Michael Quinn (LimousineDriver) [President] Match: Hell in the Cell w/ Weapons. Rules: None. Titles: None. Commentators: Quinn, James Colburn ____________________________________________________________________ Colburn: I can't believe Iaian's going through with this. Quinn: Neither can I. Colburn: Man, not only are you in two matches, but you're reffing in Virus' match and announcing in this one! Quinn: Just making up for lost time. Colburn: I'll say, goddamn. Quinn: Look, shut up and do your job and I'll let you keep your life. Colburn: (gulps) Okay....HEY! They're lowering a cage onto the ring!!! What the hell! Quinn: What? I realized a little earlier that a standard match wouldn't be good, because Iaian could just run away. With a cage over the ring, where's he gonna go? Colburn: You CHANGED it to a Hell in the Cell with weapons?! Quinn: Just ten minutes ago. Don't worry about Dark Angel, he's bringing his double-edged scythe. Colburn: What about Iaian? Quinn: Oops. (The Havoc Viewscreen flickers on and we see Gothic standing in his office.) Gothic: Ah, international soil. It feels good beneath my feet. Alex, have the wrestlers been miked? Quinn: Yes sir. Gothic: Excellent. Let's see some blood. First we have fresh meat- Iaian McBride! (Iaian walks down the ramp wearing his black silk Karate outfit. He's walking down the ramp and gets to the ring. It is then that he notices the cage over the ring. He screams and faints. The referee picks him up and puts him in the ring.) Gothic: He screams like a woman. Next we have Dark Angel! ("Unforgiven" begins to play and the arena is bathed in white light. Dark Angel walks down holding his double-edged scythe. He walks into the cage and rips off his cloak. He let's out a hellish scream and smiles at McBride's unconscious body.) Gothic: Someone wake that fool up. (The Havoc Viewscreen flickers off.) Quinn: Dark Angel, can you please wake up Iaian. (Dark Angel walks over to Iaian and pokes him in the leg with his scythe. Iaian jumps up screaming and presses himself against the cage door, trying to get out.) Quinn: See? Told you he'd try to run. Colburn: No kidding, but what's McBride gonna use for a weapon? Quinn: Don't worry, I got that covered. (Quinn goes up to the cage and opens the door. Iaian gets away from the door, afraid that Alex will kill him.) Quinn: Hey, don't worry...I'll settle your taking Alena from me...later. Here, take this. (Quinn throws a Kendo sword at McBride.) McBride: It's a stick! Quinn: No, it's Bokken. McBride: What, but isn't that a...? (Quinn pulls out his sword and leads up McBride under the neck.) Quinn: Don't correct me. McBride: (squeaks) okay. (Quinn leaves the cage. The bell starts.) Colburn: Oh my God, Iaian is a dead man. Quinn: Ah, don't worry about him, he knows how to take care of himself. He's been coming to my classes ever since he lost that match to you. Trust me, he's a quick study. Colburn: I hope so, for his sake. The first time I've ever felt sorry for the guy. (Meanwhile Iaian is screaming, running around the cage, much to the annoyance of Dark Angel. He takes his double-edged scythe and throws it at McBride. The scythe twists around and pins McBride to the wall of the cage. Dark Angel cracks his knuckles and walks up to McBride.) Quinn: My, my, this could hurt. (Dark Angel begins beating the sh*t out of Iaian, and it really goes from a wrestling match to a bloodfest for Dark Angel.) Quinn: Sigh...I tire of this match, it just doesn't have any excitement. (He clicks a button on a remote.) Colburn: What the hell was that? Quinn: It just activates an IV patch I placed on Iaian's chest when I was in the ring. Colburn: Huh? (Dark Angel keeps on punching McBride until finally something kicks in and Iaian parries Dark Angel's fist with his own hand. We hear a crack and Dark Angel stumbles away, not expecting that at all.) Quinn: Hmm, I think he dislocated his wrist. Colburn: What the...? How did Iaian manage that? Oh no...the drug! Quinn: What? He's lucky! He got the last bottle I had and it just might save him. Colburn: You're all heart. Quinn: (smiles) Thank you. Don't worry, it'll wear off in a couple of hours. Colburn: Man, how much of that stuff do you have? Quinn: I get as much as I can. Unfortunately, Gothic controls the supply. (McBride snaps the scythe in half and takes them both. Dark Angel backs away without his weapon.) Quinn: Don't worry, I'll even the score. Hey, Dark Angel! (Dark Angel turns around to face Quinn, just in time to catch a sword heading straight for his face.) Quinn: Good catch. (Dark Angel smiles at the blade and looks back at McBride. McBride lunges at him, Dark Angel takes the sword and slices through one of the scythes. He looks down at the sword in amazement.) Quinn: Hey! Get to work! That's my sword, so you better be careful with it! (Dark Angel smiles again and comes after Iaian. McBride ducks down and headbutts Dark Angel in the groin. He then follows it up quickly, bringing the scythe up across Dark Angel's right leg. Dark Angel is annoyed by this little maneuver and picks up McBride with one hand. He then proceeds to throw McBride into the cage. However, the drug is still in effect, and McBride lands on the cage and climbs up to hang off the ceiling. Dark Angel brings up his sword to hit him, but McBride manages to use his scythe to rip a hole in the top and climb up onto the cage.) Quinn: Hmmm, unforeseen turn of events. Colburn: Wow, look at Iaian go! Quinn: Here comes Dark Angel, he looks really annoyed at Iaian's agility. He takes the sword and spinthrows it up through the ceiling. McBride jumps out of the way...no wait, Dark Angel wasn't going after Iaian, but after that! (The sword cuts through the wires holding up some of the lights. The entire lightset swings down and hits Iaian in the back of the head, knocking him headfirst into the hole and onto Dark Angel's fist. The sword comes back down to stab right through McBride's leg.) Quinn: Wow, he's better with the sword than me! Colburn: scream? Quinn: Iaian's not even slowing down, he's starting to chew the wound in Dark Angel's right leg, tearing it open. Dark Angel does not look happy. Colburn: Nope, he picks up the sword with Iaian on it and slams it into the side of the cage. Iaian manages to get the Kendo stick and hits Dark Angel in the chest. (We hear a large crack as the Kendo stick breaks against Dark Angel. Dark Angel stumbles back from his ribs being cracked. Iaian launches himself feet first into Dark Angel's chest and proceeds to beat him on the chest like a rabid monkey. Dark Angel grabs Iaian by the throat, flips and slams him into the sword. The sword comes up through Iaian's shoulder. Dark Angel grabs the end, cutting his hand up badly. He then proceeds to pull it all the way through, leaving Iaian's left arm nearly severed. Iaian doesn't stop, he just keeps going.) Colburn: Oh my God, that didn't even stop Iaian! How the hell is Dark Angel gonna beat him! Quinn: Don't worry, the bloodloss will catch up with him. (Iaian's holding his arm in place, the floor is drenched in blood. Dark Angel picks up his remaining scythe and throws it at Iaian. It spins through the air, but Iaian manages to catch the hilt of the scythe while it's spinning so quickly.) Dark Angel: Impressive. But now you die! (Dark Angel brings the sword down and shatters the scythe in Iaian's right hand, causing it to cut his hand up. Iaian jumps up through the hole and grabs onto the dangling headset. Dark Angel follows him; Iaian climbs up a ladder onto the catwalk used to maintain the lights [we're talking at least 100ft up!]) Colburn: Sh*t! I can't even make them out anymore! Hey, Iaian's left arm looks a lot better! The drug can't be that good, can it? Quinn: No, it only closes wounds quickly, but I can assure you it's still easily detacheable. Colburn: Man, well, can we get a camera up there? Quinn: Of course, I prepare for everything. (On the Havoc Viewscreen, we see Iaian and Dark Angel clashing. Iaian has a bar from the lightset and Dark Angel is using the sword to cut down McBride. Below the girder are tiny specs, which appear to be audience members. Dark Angel begins to push back McBride, but Iaian seems to insane to care. Dark Angel swings the sword low, but Iaian flips over it and kicks Dark Angel in the head, knocking him back and nearly off the girder. Dark Angel tries to climb back up while Iaian is crushing his bones with the bar. Dark Angel, barely able to stand anymore from all the injuries, starts to back away.) Quinn: Well, at least Dark Angel still has the sword. Colburn: I can't believe it! Iaian's totally awesome on that drug! Quinn: What'd you expect? Colburn: Yeah, but beating Dark Angel?! What the hell?! Quinn: Iaian tries to hit Dark Angel across the head, but even in his bad condition, Dark Angel blocks it with his hand and grabs onto it, swinging Iaian off the girder. Colburn: Ack! Oh no, Iaian caught on, thank God! If they fell from this height, they would definitely die! Quinn: I know (smiles). Colburn: Iaian's trying to get back up, but Dark Angel is now stepping on Iaian's fingers and laughing. No wait, Iaian's pulling up the lightset wires with his feet! Quinn: What the hell is he doing? Colburn: He's swinging the light set, and it's coming around the other side of the girder. Quinn: Ouch, Dark Angel gets hit in the back. Hmmm, looks like it's frying him. Colburn: The electricity from the lightset is coursing through his body! (Dark Angel finally falls off the girder as Iaian climbs back up.) Colburn: Looks like this match is over. Quinn: Not quite. (Dark Angel grabs onto the loose wire and manages to swing all the way around, driving the sword into Iaian's other leg, knocking him off the girder. Dark Angel lands on the girder, just to watch McBride fall.) Colburn: Oh my God. Iaian cannot survive that! Quinn: Why not? The cage will break his fall (snicker). (McBride plummets through the cage and the ring; Dark Angel is climbing down the ladder and jumps down. Immediately, paramedics arrive on the scene.) Colburn: Ah sh*t, the audience is drowning out the mikes. Quinn: Why not? They probably just saw the coolest thing they'll ever see. Colburn: You're an a**hole, you know that?! Quinn: Don't worry, Iaian will be just fine. Colburn: How can you be so sure? Quinn: Because, there are lot's of hardcore weapons under the ring to break his fall. (laughs hysterically) Colburn: Okay, we just got word from the paramedics folks. Looks like Iaian's still breathing, they're amazed he even lived through that! Quinn: Don't worry, by tomorrow, he'll be in perfect health. Colburn: How the hell do you know?! Quinn: Look, the guy received a lot of flesh wounds and that's about it. With that drug, he'll be back up in no time. Dark Angel, on the other hand, will have difficulty wrestling tonight with all those bone injuries. Colburn: (sarcastically)Why don't you just give him the drug? Quinn: Not a bad idea. Too bad I'm out. Oh well, there's always next week. Colburn: Man, we have to ban this thing.