Monday, Jun 12 2000: Monday Night Mutilation Card #8 - Match #2 Virus, Shadow Vs. DAND, SuperBeast Authour: Jeff Davidson [Assistant CEO] Match: Roof match. Rules: None. Titles: None. Commentators: Iaian McBride, James Colburn _____________________________________________________________________ Colburn: Man, what happened after I left? McBride: Alex took my finger, and nearly killed both the wrestlers! Colburn: Really? Holy sh*t, talk about loose screws. McBride: I dunno, but I'm starting to get just as scared as you. Colburn: Dude, who said I was scared? McBride: I TOLD YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT!! Colburn: Alright, alright, sheesh. Don’t get your panties in a knot. McBride: Thank you--goddamn. Colburn: Anyway, our next match is another interesting one folks. McBride: That’s right. Apparently DAND’s sister has been kidnapped by some sh*t-for-brains loser from DAND’s past and DAND now has to rescue her from a scyscraper. Colburn: The scyscraper is apparently not even close to finished and the only thing on it is the super structure and the flooring. McBride: I hope DAND throws that idiot Shadow off the f*cking roof. Colburn: Yeah, me too. Well, we’re ready to go live to the site so without further ado, let’s get it on! McBride: Alright! (The jumbo screen is lowered into place and it cuts to the scene of a scyscraper construction site. We see that it is in fact, just a super structure with flooring. The camera cuts to a different view and we see Superbeast fighting Virus and one of the flunkies on one of the open floors (there are no walls as of yet). Virus is attacking Superbeast head-on while the flunky makes his way behind Superbeast. The flunky spears Superbeast from behind and as he moves forward, Virus clotheslines Superbeast, causing Beast to flip end over end onto the floor.) McBride: Ouch, Virus nearly took Beast’s head off. Colburn: Goddamnit, it’s two on one for christ’s sake. How does Beast stand a chance against those two? (The flunky goes to kick Beast in the head, but Beast sinks his teeth into the flunky’s leg. Beast rips off a rather large chunk of flesh and spits it out onto the floor. The flunky screams in pain and falls rolling onto the floor. Virus goes to attack Beast but Beast sees him and counters with a pounce and pummel. Beast goes for a power punch but Virus slides out from under him and Beast punches straight through the floor.) McBride: Or is it how do those two stand a chance against Beast? Colburn: Wow, Beast is really letting his animal instincts run rampant. McBride: Well, they’re apparently working very well. Beast grabs that fallen flunky and throws him into Virus. They both get impacted into the wall. Oooo, the flunky’s leg is bleeding profusely now. (The flunky continues to roll around in pain as Beast smashes Virus’ head into one of the steel girders. Virus recovers extremely quickly however and returns the favor to Beast with a little something extra. He then picks Beast up into a gorilla press and drops him straight onto the floor. The floor gives a bit from the impact and the boards crack a little.) Colburn: Talk about sh*tty construction. Who’s making that building anyway? McBride: I think it’s a union. Colburn: Figures. (Virus begins to savagely stomp away at Beast’s chest and head. He even goes so far as to jump on Beast’s chest and execute a rather modified version of Beast’s own move STAMPEDE! The floor doesn’t stand for this, however, and it finally gives way sending them both crashing to the lower floor.) Colburn: That was cool. McBride: Dude, how we supposed to see them now? Colburn: Relax, we have a whole sh*tload of cameras in that building. But first, let’s see what DAND is up to. (The view changes to the roof where we see Samantha dangling on the hook of a crane while DAND and Shadow and a flunky are fighting it out. Shadow has a sword by his side, as does DAND, and the flunky has what looks like a net. The flunky tries to entangle DAND in the net but DAND grabs the net and throws it aside, along with the flunky. Shadow then draws his sword and slashes at DAND. DAND rolls away and draws his sword and they begin to fight it out. Neither man seems to have an advantage over the other and they continuously trade blows. Shadow manages to break DAND’s defenses and DAND is forced to move back towards the edge of the building. Shadow keeps moving him back when a net suddenly comes at DAND. DAND slashes the net, but this allows Shadow to slash DAND’s back. DAND anticipates this attack however and manages to come out with just a cut across his arm. The cut begins leaking blood but DAND ignores the wound and continues to fight.) Colburn: DAND is one tough S.O.B. McBride: Yeah, I can’t believe he walked off those injuries from the boiler room brawl. Colburn: I think he was just showing off, but that was still pretty cool. McBride: Dude, check it out! DAND has Shadow on the defensive now. (Shadow is forced back to the edge of the building by a flurry of slashes and thrusts from DAND. Shadow reaches the edge and begins to teeter. Just as DAND is about to deliver the finishing blow, the flunky comes up from behind him and roundhouses him in the side of the head. DAND is sent for a loop and loses his sword. The sword rolls to and off the edge of the building. Shadow laughs and then for no apparent reason, thrusts his sword into the flunky’s neck. Shadow mutters something like "I told you not to interfere" and then withdraws his sword from the flunky’s neck. The flunky collapses onto the floor and a pool of blood begins to form around him.) McBride: Dude, what the f*ck!? Colburn: Why the hell did he do that!? The guy did him a favor! What a moron! McBride: There’s just no figuring out those evil types. Colburn: I guess not. McBride: Dude, DAND’s got more weapons! (DAND pulls out two small throwing knives and while Shadow is turning back around to face him, DAND throws the knives into Shadow’ calves. Shadow lets out a yell and falls to the ground. DAND then dashes toward the crane that holds Samantha aloft. Before he even gets within ten feet of the crane, Shadow’s sword comes flying toward the cable that holds Samantha and cuts it. To DAND’s dismay, Samantha falls down out of sight. DAND falls to his knees in utter shock as Shadow begins to laugh.) McBride: I--I don’t know what to say. Colburn: Let’s just have a moment of silence for Samantha. (DAND is now clenching his fists and pounding the floor with tears flowing from his eyes like a pair of rivers. Shadow suddenly ceases his laughing and DAND looks up. We see Dark Angel climb over the edge with Samantha clinging to his torso. He climbs over and Samantha runs over to DAND. Dark Angel is wearing a mic headset and begins to speak.) Dark Angel: Shadow, you must be the lowest form of scum on this entire planet. Preying on innocent women like a coward. Even I would not stoop so low. I feel it is my duty to rid society of your stench, even in my condition. (Dark Angel brings his double scythe out from his back and thrusts about 1/4 of the weapon through the floor while pointing at Shadow) Dark Angel: Prepare to die. Colburn and McBride: DUDE! (Dark Angel throws away the headset and Shadow runs at him angrily. When Shadow is about five feet away, Dark Angel pulls his weapon out of the floor with all his might, and to everyone’s surprise, Quinn is hanging onto the blade [with a chainmail glove]. As Quinn emerges from the hole, Shadow is unable to stop and Quinn decapitates Shadow with his sword with a quick spin move. Shadow’s head flies forward and Dark Angel catches it one handed. The blood flows out of the neck while Shadow’s body collapses to the ground. Quinn licks his blade and smiles.) Colburn and McBride: DUDE!! (Dark Angel looks at the head and smiles. He then throws it over the side. DAND walks over to Dark Angel and Quinn and thanks them. Dark Angel and Quinn look at each other and then smile at DAND. DAND gets a confused look on his face and then Dark Angel and Quinn start attacking him.) Colburn: Hey! What the f*ck is going on!? McBride: I thought they were here to help DAND, not kick the sh*t out of him. Colburn: Maybe they were just there to help Samantha and get rid of Shadow? McBride: Dude, that could be--Oh, sh*t! We forgot about Beast and Virus and that flunky! Colburn: Ah, sh*t! Switch the view! (The view switches to Beast and Virus exchanging blows. The flunky seems to be keeping back as they fight it out. Beast gets in a rather hard right hook that sets Virus off balance and then Beast tackles him. Virus catches himself though, and flips Beast into one of the metal girders. Beast recovers but not quickly enough to stop Virus from finger jabbing him in the chest cavity. Beast loses his breath and Virus picks Beast up into a powerbomb position. He holds him there for a few seconds and then violently throws Beast down. Beast easily smashes through the floor and continues smashing through the rest of the floors, all the way to the bottom. Virus looks down through the holes and then lifts his head and laughs at the top of his lungs. A new view comes up of the bottom floor and we see Beast unconscious in a pile of shattered wood. The view changes back to Virus who is still laughing.) Colburn: He finally beat him. McBride: Man, that was insane! Beast must have smashed through at least 15 floors before hitting bottom! Colburn: Hey, what’s the flunky up to? (The flunky sneaks up from behind Virus and punches him in the back of the head. Virus turns around sharply and grabs the flunky by the throat. The flunky sputters a bit and then Virus violently throws him off the side of the building. We hear the splat as the flunky impacts with the cement below.) Colburn: I think I’m gonna throw up. McBride: Hey, I rather enjoyed watching that guy fall to his gruesome death. That’s what happens to backstabbers. Colburn: Yeah, but that sickening splat at the end--oi. McBride: Well, since that’s over, let’s go check up on DAND and-- (As Iaian is finishing his sentence, DAND comes crashing through the ceiling and through the floor, the same way Superbeast did just seconds before. DAND also crashes all the way to the bottom, about five feet away from Superbeast.) McBride: Nevermind, I think I know what happened. Colburn: Well, no sh*t sherlock. McBride: Well, who won anyway? Colburn: Goddamn, I don't know. But the President and Dark Angel have seen one hell of a lot of action today. With all the deaths and everything, I think we can safely say that HDW has reached a new level of insanity! McBride: Dude, really? And what about Alex? What's his f*cking problem?! Colburn: Guess we'll find out next week. McBride: Man, I don't want to find out, but man is DAND and SuperBeast gonna be pissed when they finally wake up. Colburn: The President and Dark Angel...this can't be good.