Wednesday, June 7thth 2000: Death From Above (Pay-Per-View) Card #7 - Match #2 Free For All Authour: Alexander Michael Quinn (LimousineDriver) [President] Match: Boiler Room Match w/ weapons. Rules: Last Man Standing Wins. Titles: None. Commentators: Iaian McBride, James Colburn ______________________________________________________________________ Colburn: All right, it’s time for the main event. McBride: Yeah, that teacup match was interesting, but I’m sure this is the match everyone has been waiting for. Colburn: Darn tootin’. McBride: Darn tootin’? Dude, what kinda catch phrase is that? Colburn: Catch phrase? What the hell is a catch phrase? McBride: Oh, nevermind. Hey, there’s Gothic! (They are interrupted by the humming of the speakers as Gothic’s voice comes over them.) Gothic: All wrestlers please report to the boiler room a.s.a.p., the match for the world title is about to commence. Hurry up! McBride: He can be really pushy at times. Colburn: I think he’s just a little excited. This ain’t no ordinary match you know. McBride: True anyway. As I understand it, we have some cameras set up in the boiler room to monitor all the action. One just outside the door, and five more inside the room itself. Let’s cut to the outside camera so we can see all the wrestlers making their way to the room. (The Havoc Viewscreen cuts to a view just above the entrance to the boiler room, a dark figure darts into the room just as the camera switches on.) Colburn: Hey, who was that? I couldn’t make him out. McBride: I missed him too,hey, here comes Superbeast. (Superbeast stalks into the room. He sniffs the air and then bares a smile and runs in. Some crashing can be heard in the background.) McBride: Um, I think I know who came in before Beast. Colburn: Virus. McBride: Yep. Colburn: Oh yeah, I forgot. (DAND comes around the corner standing on his seat while Samantha drives. DAND leaps off his bike and spears into the room and we hear two thuds.) McBride: Whoa! He’s still crazy as ever! Colburn: Now that’s an entrance with style! McBride: That wasn’t style! That was insanity! Colburn: Close enough. (Celtic Mage comes into view. He walks quickly down the hall and then disappears into the room. They see what’s going on inside the room and run into it.) Colburn: Alright, who’s left? McBride: Uhhhh, Condom Man, Limousine Driver, Dark Angel, Chrono, Dan Long, and Mad Rapper. Colburn: Condom Man is in this? McBride: Apparently. (As if on cue, Condom Man rounds the corner, tripping over his own feet. He nervously makes his way into the room. A few seconds later, Limo Driver and Chrono round the corner almost in unison. They eye each other and the katanas by their sides and then walk into the room.) McBride: Those two are gonna be fun to watch. Colburn: Yeah, let’s see some flying appendages!! McBride: Dude, you need help. Colburn: You really think so? McBride: I don’t think, I know. (Mad Rapper comes running around the corner and into the room.) Colburn: Well, Dark Angel is gonna be the last man in, where is he anyway? McBride: Maybe he chickened out? Colburn: I kinda doubt that, ah who cares, cut to the inside already!! I wanna see some blood and guts!! McBride: Ah what the heck, me too!! Colburn: That’s the spirit! (The Havoc Viewscreen cuts to one of the inside cameras. It shows DAND being attacked by Condom Man with Superbeast and Virus fighting in the background. Beast has his metal claws and Virus has his chain scythe. DAND is apparently armed with two large daggers and some small throwing knives. Condom Man is desperately trying to beat DAND with a lead pipe, but DAND is laughing it off.) Colburn: I forgot this was a weapons match. Even better! McBride: I guess memory is the first thing to go. Colburn: What was that? McBride: Shortly followed by hearing. (Virus begins swinging his blade in a deadly circle in front of him and all Superbeast can do is dodge. Virus backs Beast up against a wall and then arcs the blade toward Superbeast’s chest. Beast slams himself against the wall but Virus’ blade still gashes Beast’s chest. Beast roars in pain as the blood begins to flow. Elsewhere, Condom Man winds up and takes a huge swing at DAND’s head with the pipe. DAND ducks under and rolls behind him. DAND gets back up and Condom Man smacks him in the head with a baseball bat. It only serves to piss DAND off and DAND slices it in half with one of his large daggers.) Colburn: Oh yeah! First blood! McBride: Hey, let’s try another view! (The Havoc viewscreen changes view. Limousine Driver and Chrono are swordfighting in the background and Condom Man is just barely in view, hiding in a corner from a rampaging DAND. Meanwhile, Limo Driver and Chrono are engaged in a dance of parries, thrusts and slashes. Neither one seems to be able to get an advantage until Chrono does a little spin move and catches Limo Driver’s left arm with a small gash. Limo Driver ignores the wound and jabs his katana through Chrono’s left foot. Chrono yells in pain and shoves Limo Driver away with authority. Condom Man is still cowering in the corner, trying to become invisible apparently.) McBride: Alright, now this is a little more exciting! Colburn: Hey, I wanted to see what happens to Beast, go back, go back! McBride: Keep your pants on old man, we’ll get back to them. Colburn: Damnit! (The Havoc Viewscreen switches to another camera and we see Superbeast and Virus in the background.) McBride: Happy now? Colburn: Alright, come on let’s see some more blood! McBride: (sigh) You’re hopeless. (Virus is choking Superbeast with the chain of his weapon and Superbeast almost looks out of it. He suddenly comes back to life however and flips Virus off of him. He then dives on Virus and plunges one of his metal claws into Virus’ right thigh. Virus yells and then kicks Superbeast off of him. The claw is still embedded in Virus’ leg and blood is flowing out of the wound steadily. Virus pulls it out and throws it aside.) McBride: Oh, that’s gonna sting for a while. Colburn: I’ll say, hey, let’s try and find Dan Long and Mad Rapper. (The Havoc Viewscreen cuts to another camera and we see Dan Long and Mad Rapper team attacking the Celtic Mage. Dan Long spin kicks Celtic Mage and Rapper follows that up with a russian leg sweep. Celtic Mage’s head bounces off the cement but he gets right back up and roundhouses Rapper. He turns to attack Dan Long but Long takes Mage’s legs out from under him with a leg sweep. Celtic Mage hits the ground and Dan Long runs up one of the walls and does a modified asai moonsault onto Mage’s chest. He and Rapper then pick up Mage and give him a double brainbuster onto the cement.) Colburn: Alright! The two little guys takin’ on the big guy! Now that’s teamwork! McBride: Wow! I’m surprised Mage is still conscious after that! (Mage gets up slowly and both Rapper and Long run up the wall and attempt a dual moonsault attack. Mage counters by punching them both in the gut simultaneously. Long and Rapper fall to the ground and Mage starts stomping away at them.) Colburn: Okay, this got boring. Go back to beast! McBride: God, you’re a whiny little bugger. (The havoc viewscreen cuts to the view of DAND, Bob Kendo, Jamie Madrox, Superbeast and Virus. Virus is pinned against the wall and Superbeast is pounding away at Virus’ chest. Beast’s claws lie broken on the ground while Virus’ chain scythe is embedded solidly into the wall. Beast finishes by throwing Virus headfirst into one of the boilers. Virus falls away from the boiler unconscious and Beast slides to the ground. His blood loss catches up with him and he slips into unconsciousness.) McBride: Is the elbow supposed to bend that way? Colburn: I somehow doubt it. I guess that eliminates Beast, Virus in one shot. McBride: I think it’s time we checked up on Limo Driver and Chrono, don’t you? Colburn: Oh, sh*t, yeah. Go, go, go! (The Havoc Viewscreen changes to Limo Driver and Chrono. Chrono has Limo Driver backed up against a boiler and continues to repeatedly slash at his chest. Limo Driver manages to block all the attempts but cannot manage to get away from the boiler. Chrono suddenly goes for a vertical slash and Limo Driver manages to dodge out of the way. The blade slices right through the boiler and the cut off piece falls to the side. Limo Driver yells in pain as the piece of the boiler lands on his torso. Limo Driver is pinned and Chrono moves in with the hilt of his sword. Limo Driver manages to roll the piece off and get away, but Chrono isn’t far behind. Condom Man is still in view and still cowering by the corner. Without warning, a hand breaks through the wall and grabs him by the neck. Dark Angel bursts through the wall, still keeping his grip on Condom Man. He throws Condom Man into a nearby boiler and Condom Man falls down unconscious.) Colburn: He finally shows up after most of the stronger wrestlers have been eliminated. What a cheater. McBride: Who cares? He’s here now so things might start getting really interesting. Colburn: Good point, bring on the blood!! McBride: Oi. (In the corner of the view we see Dan Long is about to attack Mage when Dark Angel grabs Long from behind and slams him hard into the wall, headfirst. Dan Long falls lifeless to the floor as Dark Angel lunges at Mage. Mage flips Dark Angel into the wall and cracks the wall a bit.) McBride: Ow! Pain! That’s gonna give him a headache when he wakes up. (Limo Driver suddenly comes into view with DAND chasing him with those two large daggers. Chrono is distracted by this for just a second and Dark Angel capitalizes by giving Chrono a powerbomb into the cement. Chrono loses his katana and holds his head in pain. DAND, meanwhile, catches Limo Driver and slashes his right arm. He plunges the other dagger into LD’s left leg and he falls to the ground in pain. LD’s eyes roll back and he falls unconscious from the pain.) Colburn: Ouch. McBride: Man, wait! DAND just fell over unconscious! McBride: What the Hell? (A figure emerges from the shadows and we see Alena Carmine. She just waves to the camera as if to say, "Oops, the guys forgot about me.") (The havoc viewscreen suddenly changes to a view where we can see all the wrestlers that are left standing.) Colburn: Oh yeah, baby! That’s the stuff! McBride: Whatever, dude. (Dark Angel and Mage are brawling, while Carmine is trying to decide who to go after. She goes after Chrono, surprising him. As he’s trying to figure out where the hell she came from, she brings down her pipe across his shoulders. He flinches, but looks merely annoyed. Carmine smiles and runs off frantically. We see her trip into the shadows and Chrono follows from behind.) McBride: I don’t think Alena is gonna win that one. Hey check out Mage and Dark Angel. They’re still brawling it out. (Dark Angel and Mage continuously exchange rights and lefts. Dark Angel finally wins out and spears Mage into the wall. Mage recovers nicely though and knees Dark Angel in the gut. Dark Angel backs off and Mage charges him. Dark Angel back drops him though and Mage crashes to the floor. Dark Angel then back flips onto Mage and starts to blatantly choke him. Mage is almost out of air when he finally manages to kick Dark Angel off. Mage is still almost out of air however and takes some time to recover. Dark Angel picks him up and tries to set him up for a crucifix powerbomb. Mage reverses the maneuver however and sets Dark Angel up into a vertical suplex. Dark Angel reverses that into another crucifix powerbomb, but this time he flips Mage over before he can react and slams him down to the floor, face first.) Colburn: Stigmata! He hit Mage with Stigmata! Is Mage conscious? McBride: I don’t think so. I think that reversal was all he had left in him. Dark Angel looks a bit tired as well. Colburn: Well, it’s down to just Chrono and Dark Angel are left to battle it out. McBride: Business is about to pick up. (Dark Angel eyes Chrono. Chrono is back on his feet and has reclaimed his katana. Dark Angel smiles at Chrono and then leaps at him. It seems the knockout didn’t last long, because DAND has come back to finish Angel off with Chrono. DAND cuts two nice lines into Dark Angel’s chest but Dark Angel still lands on top of him and starts pounding away at DAND’s face. Dark Angel’s blood starts staining DAND’s shirt as it flows out of his chest wounds. Chrono takes the chance to capitalize and smashes the hilt of his blade across Dark Angel’s head. Dark Angel falls to the ground and Chrono stabs his katana through Dark Angel’s left arm, straight into the cement beneath. Dark Angel only becomes angrier and Chrono withdraws his blade, only to immediately plunge it into Dark Angel’s right arm. This time Dark Angel lets out a yell. Chrono then plunges his blade into both Dark Angel’s legs. DAND comes up from behind Chrono and slashes his back with a dagger. Chrono lunges forward while his blade goes backward, straight through DAND’s stomach. DAND’s eyes go wide as Chrono falls forward holding the gash in his back. DAND falls to his knees with the sword sticking out of his gut. Chrono turns to see what happened just in time to see DAND collapse onto the floor unconscious. The bell rings and medics start pouring into the boiler room.) Colburn: NO!! Damnit!! Not him!! McBride: Jesus, is DAND dead or what? Colburn: Man!! It doesn’t matter, does it? Chrono is the world champion! McBride: That last move looked purely accidental to me. He never intended to stab DAND through the stomach! Colburn: How do you know that? Nobody knows what the hell Chrono is ever thinking! McBride: Well, sh*t, if it was intentional then I’m sure DAND will probably be pretty pissed when he gets back. Colburn: You better believe it! Until then though, Chrono is the friggin’ World Champion. McBride: Let’s hope those medics can get DAND to a hospital soon enough. Otherwise he might not make it. Colburn: Well, no sh*t sherlock! McBride: Holy sh*t! Colburn: What? Oh my God. (Dark Angel gets back up, he seems extremely annoyed. He points directly at Chrono with the little strength he has left. Chrono stands up ready to fight, but Dark Angel just smiles and disappears into the shadows.) Colburn: How did Angel get out of the room when the exits are all blocked?! McBride: I dunno, but that disqualifies him, I guess. How the heck is he still conscious? McBride: Alright, let’s just end it there. Colburn: Yeah, whatever, I’m pretty sure it’s over.