Monday, June 26th 2000: Monday Night Mutilation Card #10 - Match #1 Kalista Vs. Alena Carmine Authour: Jeff Davidson [Assistant CEO] Match: Standard. Rules: Standard. Titles: None. Commentators: Iaian McBride, James Colburn ___________________________________________________________ Colburn: Welcome to the Havoc Dominion everyone! Our first match features our newest female wrestler, the lovely Kalista, taking on the lovely Alena Carmine. McBride: Is it true that Kalista is Dark Angel and Archangel's shrink? Colburn: Yeah. But I must say her tactics are rather odd. McBride: Definitely. Stripping down right in front of Dark Angel. She's lucky she had that tazer with her or else...I don't want to think about what he would've done to her. Colburn: Neither do I. He deserved every volt that he got, that's for sure. McBride: I wonder how many volts were in there anyway? Colburn: Enough to knock him down. That's all that matters. McBride: Yeah, well let's do the highlights for last night. Colburn: Without a doubt, we had some pretty crazy stuff going on last time! McBride: Yeah, the last one with the President or Dark Angel. Colburn: Well, one's in a psych ward, although I hear Kalista allows him access to everything the way it used to be, just she monitors him. McBride: Creepy...but not half as creepy as the President. Colburn: Definitely, now that he's gone, Nadia is in charge. McBride: And they haven't found him yet either, they just found his campfire, which took out a hefty section of the forest. Colburn: Well, for the moment he is presumed dead, we can only wait and see. Anyway, the first match from last night was...strange. McBride: My highlight was all of them getting stuck together at the end. Colburn: Nah, I really liked it when Alena got caught in the jello without any-- McBride: Hey! President's wife, hello? Colburn: What? He isn't here. Anyway, it was definitely a good match, even if it was a little weird. McBride: The next one was not fun. Colburn: Are you kidding me? That was my absolute favorite! McBride: Just because I got nearly beaten to death by Dark Angel! Colburn: Your fault, you didn't know it was a Hell-Cell. McBride: Shut up. Besides, I managed to get him up to that girder. Colburn: Yeah, with all that drug pumping through you. McBride: Good point. Colburn: Man, what'd it feel like? McBride: It was weird. Like I had to kill everything, it was almost an insatiable desire. Hmmm...let's see...have sex and quit just before the climax. Do that a few dozen times, and the need you feel for sex is the need I felt for blood. Colburn: Can your analogies get any worse? McBride: Probably not. Colburn: Well, you did almost win the match. McBride: Yeah, till Dark Angel managed to pull an Indiana Jones on my ass with that swinging lightset! Colburn: The match after that was even more insane! McBride: Yeah, fighting in oil while it's lit on fire?! What's wrong with those two. Colburn: Especially Chrono, considering the match after this one. McBride: ick. Anyway, Chrono doing a backflip on the pivotal blade of a flying helicopter was great! Colburn: Yeah, not even Jackie Chan would dare such a stupid stunt! McBride: But we would! ...wait that can't be good. Colburn: At any rate, the way the Pres managed to win was hilarious. McBride: Yeah, with Chrono literally hanging by a thread. The Pres' pants to be exact. Colburn: Yeah, but what happens when he takes them off from 29 stories high? McBride: Hehe...I'm glad we filmed that match first! Colburn: Yeah, bet it was confusing to the television viewers! McBride: I guess, me being carried off in a stretcher, only to appear the next match! Hehehe, what'ya gonna do when it isn't live! Colburn: Well, the third match had to be filmed before sundown, so we did that along with the first match. McBride: After that was Nadia Vs. Virus. Colburn: I didn't enjoy watching Virus pick on Nadia so much, especially in a pit of fire. McBride: Still, I wonder what was wrong with her that night, she didn't seem to handle it very well. Colburn: Maybe she got nervous? McBride: After that was DAND vs. Shadow. God, I thought he was dead, but no, and now we have him as a permanent wrestler. Ick. Colburn: Yeah, maybe Gothic will teach him a few manners tonight. McBride: After that was a tagteam match that was insane! Colburn: There is no highlight on that match, cause it was all insane! McBride: Yeah, we'd have to replay the whole damn thing! Colburn: Maybe it was the breaking of Dark Angel's mask that caused Archangel to resurface. That would explain the sudden appearance. McBride: I guess you're right...oh, looks like we're ready so start. (The havoc viewscreen flickers on and Gothic appears, smiling.) Gothic: Alright, our first match for tonight is a normal match. Sort of off the apparent theme for tonight but it should prove mildly entertaining none the less. First to come out shall be the lovely Alena Carmine, our Women's champion. So, please Alena, come on out. (Alena walks in wearing a dark red robe. Falling Away From Me begins playing, just as the whole entrance goes red and starts pouring smoke and flames. She walks through them wearing the jumpsuit, her robe catches fire and burns quickly, and she emerges with only her jumpsuit. Two fountains on either side of the walkway start gushing out what looks like blood over her, and she walks through the archway of flowing blood, down to the ring. Before she climbs in, a techie places her personal mic on her.) Alena: Thanks. (She flips into the ring and does a little shadow boxing.) Gothic: I'll never understand that entrance...anyway. Alena's opponent is our newest female wrestler, Kalista. Apparently she is a psychologist as well as a martial arts student of Aikido. An excellent choice I must say. Anyway, good luck to both you ladies. (Gothic disappears and the viewscreen flickers off.) (Moments later, "Is Anybody Home" by Our Lady Peace comes over the speakers and Kalista walks out from the back wearing a red cloth robe. She waves to the crowd and some of them wave back [men mostly]. She then proceeds to the ring and climbs in. She seems to want to say something. A techie throws her a mic and she catches it.) Kalista: Hi everyone. Before we get started, you should all know that I said I would finally reveal my wrestling outfit tonight. Well, a promise is a promise, so here it is. (She releases the robe and reveals a black tube-top with a short red jean jacket. She's wearing red jeans with a black belt and gold buckle followed by black boots with red heels.) Kalista: Not bad eh? It's perfect for wrestling, and it doesn't entirely hide my feminine assets, which I am very proud of thank you very much. So, without further ado, let's get this show on the road! (Kalista tosses the mic back to the techie and unclips the gun from her belt, also tossing it to a techie. She then does a little shadow boxing of her own and a little stretching. Alena also stretches as she waits for the ref to signal for the bell. The ref seems to be staring at the two women stretching. Kalista notices this.) Kalista: Hey, ref! (The ref snaps to attention.) Kalista: You gonna start the match or just stare all day? Alena: Really. We're all stretched and ready to go here. (The referee shakes his head and then signals for the bell. It rings and the match is underway.) McBride: Alright, finally. Time for some action. Colburn: I have to say I'm rather anxious to see how Kalista fairs against one of our most agile wrestlers. McBride: You and me both. (Kalista gets into a fighting stance and then motions for Alena to bring it on. Alena laughs and shakes her head.) Alena: Uh, uh. I know that trick, you'll have to come get me first. Kalista: Fine with me. (Kalista rushes at Alena with astounding speed. Before Alena can react, Kalista slides between her legs and grabs her by the ankles and yanks her to the mat. Alena manages to stop her face from hitting the mat but Kalista still has a hold of her ankles. Kalista gets up, still holding Alena's ankles, and puts Alena into a sharpshooter. Alena easily grabs the ropes and the ref breaks up the hold. Both women pop right back to their feet.) McBride: Um, does that answer your question old man? Colburn: Holy smokes! Kalista is almost faster than Nadia! That's crazy! McBride: Maybe, but I think the only reason why Alena nearly ate some floor was because she wasn't expecting Kalista to be so fast. Now she knows what to expect and can defend it. Colburn: You sound pretty sure. McBride: When you hang around with multiple martial artists, you pick up a few things. Colburn: I suppose. (Kalista smiles at Alena. Alena seems to be a bit surprised from the last attack.) Alena: Are you really that fast from only five years training? Kalista: Well, to tell the truth. I've been training for a little longer than five years. Alena: How much longer? Kalista: I've been training for about 13 years. Alena: Figures. (Kalista rushes Alena again and goes for a flying kick. Alena counters by slapping Kalista's leg down and trying to kick her in the head. Kalista leans back and just barely evades Alena's foot. Kalista lands on her back right beside Alena. Alena goes for a flip splash, but Kalista rolls out of the way and stands up. Alena bounces off the mat to her feet and spears Kalista. Kalista falls to the mat holding her lower back while Alena flips onto her feet.) McBride: That was sweet! Colburn: Sweet? Whatever, it was cool though. McBride: Dude, Alena is definitely on her game today. Colburn: That, I'll agree with. (Alena picks up Kalista by the head but Kalista punches her in the gut a couple times and then runs to the far ropes. Alena pursues and as Kalista bounces off, Alena goes for a cross body press. Kalista stops dead in her tracks and flops down onto the ground. She catches Alena with her legs and then monkey flips her over the ropes. Alena manages to land on her feet though and then drags Kalista to the outside by her feet. As Alena pulls, Kalista pushes herself with her hands, she then grabs Alena around the head with her legs and gives her a hurricanrana. Alena lands hard on her head and Kalista flips up off the floor. Alena also gets up, rubbing her head.) Alena: Ow, man that hurt. Kalista: I didn't jam your neck did I? Alena: No, it's fine. What the heck are these pads made of? Wood? Kalista: I don't know. We should get back in the ring or else I think the ref'll count us out. Alena: Good idea. Race ya! (Both women dive back into the ring at the exact same time. They both pop to their feet at the same time as well.) McBride: I think it was a tie. Colburn: No duh. (This time Alena initiates the attack. She jumps at Kalista and goes for a flying punch. Kalista grabs her by the wrist and spins around behind her. Alena lands with Kalista on her back. Kalista then puts Alena into a wristlock while holding her legs down with her own.) Kalista: Say uncle. Alena: Ow! No way. Kalista: Aw, come on. How can you possibly get out of this? Alena: Watch me! (Alena manages to free one of her legs and kicks Kalista in the back. Kalista manages to keep the lock on, but Alena continues kicking her in the back harder and harder. Kalista finally has to let go and Alena spins around and pushes her off. Alena then grabs Kalista's legs and puts her in a figure four leglock.) Alena: Now, you say uncle! Kalista: Ow, ow, ow! Not a chance! Alena: Alright, I'll have to keep this hold on I guess. Kalista: rrrrrrrrrr. (Kalista starts to try and scoot towards the ropes. Alena tries to hold her back but Kalista starts to make some slow progress. She finally reaches the ropes and once again the referee breaks the hold. Kalista rolls around on the ground holding her left knee.) McBride: I think she hurt herself. Colburn: Hope it's not serious. McBride: Me too. (Alena walks over to check on Kalista.) Alena: Oh, god. I didn't break your knee did I!? Kalista: Ow, ow, ow...nope! (Kalista suddenly fully recovers and gives Alena a leg sweep. Alena is taken by total surprise and falls into Kalista's waiting arms. Kalista wraps herself around Alena from behind and puts her into a sleeper hold. Kalista then shifts her weight and rolls them both to the center of the ring. Alena slowly loses her energy and the ref raises her arm once... twice...three times, Alena stops her arm from falling and then struggles against Kalista's grip. Kalista simply lets go and both of them stand up.) Alena: Why'd you do that!? Kalista: I'm sorry, that was a dirty trick. I'd feel too guilty if I won that way. Alena: Oh, I see. Kalista: No hard feelings? Alena: Nah, let's just finish the match, K? Kalista: Sounds good. McBride: Quite the sense of honour she has. Colburn: Not like her patient, Dark Angel. McBride: Oh, he has honour. It's twisted beyond belief, but it's there. Colburn: Riiiiiight. (Kalista runs up to Alena and goes for a roundhouse. Alena catches Kalista's leg on top of her shoulder and then sweeps her other leg out from under her. Kalista falls to the mat and Alena grabs her other leg. She then starts to spin Kalista around and around and around. She lets go and Kalista flops onto the mat dizzied. Alena also falls to the mat dizzied. Both of them can't stand up without falling down again. Kalista uses the ropes to help her up before the referee counts them out. Alena is still dizzied and Kalista sloppily picks her up. She then executes a jump swinging DDT.) McBride: I'm surprised she was able to pull off that move, being dizzy and all. Colburn: Actually, I think Alena was a little dizzier than Kalista was. She couldn't even use the ropes she was so dizzy. McBride: And that DDT isn't gonna help clear her head any. Colburn: Not at all. (Alena is still down in the center of the ring and Kalista climbs the turnbuckle. She is still a bit wobbly but she manages to execute a sloppy moonsault onto Alena. Kalista hooks the leg and the referee starts the count...1...2...3.) McBride: Kalista wins! Oh, she still can't really stand very well, though, the referee has to hold her up. Colburn: Poor girl. How the heck is Alena gonna get out of there if Kalista can't even stand? McBride: Like that. (Kalista helps Alena up with the help of the referee and they stumble off out of the ring together.) McBride: What a pair. They look like they're drunk almost. Colburn: Alena looks to still be winded a bit from that sloppy moonsault. I think Kalista might've hit her in a sensitive spot. McBride: Actually, yeah, she did. I saw her one knee land fairly hard on Alena's sternum. Otherwise I think Alena wold've been able to kick out of that pin. Colburn: Oh well. It was a fun match to watch anyway. And hopefully we can look forward to some more good performances from Kalista. McBride: Yeah, she is definitely skilled, as Alena said. Hey, what's this!? (As Kalista and Alena reach the stage, Angel comes out from the back. Kalista stops dead in her tracks, eyes wide. She looks back to the ring at the techie that she threw her gun to. Angel walks up to them and taps Kalista on the shoulder. Kalista nearly jumps out of her shoes and accidentally lets go of Alena. Before Alena hits the ground though Angel catches her and helps her up.) Colburn: What the heck!? Oh! It must be Archangel. McBride: Huh? Oh right. (Alena is still unable to stand so Archangel slings her over his shoulder. Kalista looks as if she is about to faint so he slings her over his other shoulder. He then carries them both to the back. McBride: They really are complete opposites aren't they? Colburn: Who? McBride: Dark Angel and Archangel. Colburn: Let's get the next match under way! McBride: Dude, you want to see that?!