Monday, June 26th 2000: Monday Night Mutilation
Card #9 - Match #1.5

Interviews With McBride

Authour:  Frank Landry (Chrono) [Commissioner]
Match:  None.
Rules:  None.
Titles: None.
Commentators: None.

____________________________________________________________


McBride: I am heading for DAND's locker room, where he's getting read for 
        his match tonight against Chrono.

(McBride walks up to the door and knocks on it.)

Voice: Come in.

(McBride walks in and a beautiful woman is sitting on the chair with her
 back towards the camera)

McBride: Hey Samantha. You look great tonight.

DAND: Why thank-you.

(The woman turns around to see that it is really DAND.)

McBride: I think I am going to be sick.

DAND: Something wrong hot stuff?

McBride: .........Excuse me?

(DAND walks towards McBride and leans on his shoulder)

DAND: You don’t find me attractive anymore?

McBride: Say what!?

DAND: You don’t like me no more? Even after all that we have been 
     through? That’s it we’re through. I never want to speak to you 
     again.

(DAND runs to the back and disappears, while crying)

McBride: What the hell is wrong with him?

Samantha: What’s wrong DAND?

DAND: McBride doesn’t like me no more. He was mean to me.

Samantha: Don’t worry, I’ll make things better.

McBride: Is this whole family on crack?

(Samantha walks out from the back. You can still hear DAND crying. 
 Samantha walks up to McBride.)

Samantha: How dare you hurt her feelings. You should be ashamed of
         yourself.

(McBride looks completely puzzled)

McBride: DAND’s a guy!!

Samantha: How dare you say such things. I think you two should go on a
         date so you can apologize.

McBride: WHAT!!?

Samantha: Hey DAND. McBride says he will take you out to apologize.

(DAND walks back out.)

DAND: He did? That’s so sweet of him. Can we go to that new Chinese 
     place down the corner?

McBride: DUDE!!! What the hell is wrong with you people!? I’m out of 
        here.

(McBride leaves running. DAND and Samantha start laughing and they give
 each other a hi-five.)

DAND: Man, did you see him run? We scared him sh*tless.

Samantha: That was fun. We should do it again sometime.

DAND: The things I do to get out of Pre-match interviews, man.

_______________________________________________________________________


(McBride heads to Chrono’s locker room.)

McBride: I hope he is not like DAND.

(McBride knocks on the door.)

Chrono: Come in.

(McBride opens the door to see Chrono in his dress and make-up.)

Chrono: Why are you wasting my time now?

McBride: We want to know your thoughts on tonight’s match that you are 
        in.

Chrono: I am going to beat the crap out of DAND for doing this. I can’t
       believe I accepted this match.

McBride: I thought you didn’t care?

Chrono: I didn’t at first but now I am having regrets. But it’s too late 
       now. Can I ask you something McBride?

McBride: What?

Chrono: Can you zip me up?

(Chrono turns around and the dress is not zipped up. McBride starts to
 leave.)

McBride: I don’t need this

(Chrono grabs McBride by the throat and pulls McBride towards him.)

Chrono: You will zip me up and like it!

McBride: No problem! I am glad to help!

(McBride zips up Chrono’s dress.)

Chrono: See that wasn’t so hard now was it?

McBride: Can I go now?

Chrono: Sure, you have wasted my time long enough.

McBride: Thank you.

(McBride starts to leave)

Chrono: Damn, I hate women’s underwear. How do crossdressers stand this
       stuff?

McBride: I think I need a therapist.  Maybe Kalista's available...