Monday, July 24th 2000: Monday Night Mutilation Card #14 - Match #4 Alena Carmine Vs. Nadia Drozdova Vs. Kalista Author: Alexander Michael Quinn (LimousineDriver) [President] Match: Controlled Gravity Match. Rules: Standard, must hit a person with the ball to win. Titles: None. Commentators: Iaian McBride, James Colburn ____________________________________________________________________ [Editor's Note: What is to follow is scientifically possible and has been accomplished. For proof, please e-mail the author for physical details.] McBride: Well, so far, so good! Colburn: Yes, we've been having a great evening. Back on top with all of those matches taking place each week. McBride: Yeah, but man, I miss the roleplaying. Colburn: Well, it's the summer weather, you think the Havoc Dominion wrestlers are busy in training and enjoying themselves. McBride: Nothing wrong with that. Colburn: (British accent) Quite. McBride: Dude? Colburn: Okay, so how is this gonna work again? McBride: You're the one that remembers these things! Colburn: Yeah, most of the time. You're the one that keeps forgetting, that's why you have the records now! McBride: Oh yeah. Let's see. Right, I remember now! Apparently, the three women are going to fight in a glass cube, about twenty feet off the ground. Colburn: Wow. I wish I understood the Physics behind this. McBride: Aww, it's only electro-magnetism. Colburn: Huh? McBride: Gauss' Law? Field Dynamics? Maxwell? You don't have a clue, do you? Colburn: I'm a commentator, not a physician. McBride: Physicist! Colburn: Whatever. Can we just get started? McBride: (sighs) Okay, so the three women begin in this glass cube which is about the size of the ring, just a bit bigger. They have a ball which they can hit with a pad on their arm. The whole point is to avoid the ball while fighting. Alex has it set up a bit differently now. Apparently, the ball is in free float, which means it keeps moving during the fight, and whomever is hit by the ball is taken out of the match. They wear belts and it will alter gravity to be in any of the six directions in the cube. Colburn: Wow, Alex really did tinker with the match, didn't he? McBride: Well, I guess he thought they could handle it. Anyway, the three guys, Alex, Angel, and William are on the outside handling the individual gravitational controls for Alena, Kalista, and Nadia respectively. Colburn: Man, are you reading off the sheet now? McBride: ...yes. Anyway, that's how it's set up! Colburn: Geeze...complicated. Well, at least I get blood! McBride: Unlikely. Colburn: Ah, sh*t! (The Havoc Viewscreen flickers on. Gothic is sitting on the edge of a fountain, which seems to be overlooking the city, apparently near the top of a building.) Gothic: How are we this evening? I am delighted that we have resumed our nightly events...day was just too much. Anyway, I do believe we are ready to begin, the wrestlers are standing on the cube and all six of those involved have been miked as usual. They will be able to have complete contact with eachother. (Gothic cuts the transmission and the view switches to a glass cube hovering in the air, slowly spinning diagonally. The three women are standing on one side, with the ball hovering in the middle. All three are wearing thick black pads on one arm. The three men are standing outside, looking up with their separate control sticks.) [In the cube] Alena: Okay, we're ready in here! [On the ground] Dark Angel: OooOOoo, this promises to be fun. (his eye twitches) Archangel: Not on my shift! [At the table] Colburn: Well, somebody better ring the bell, I'm getting impatient! McBride: Dude, calm down. [In the cube] (The bell rings and immediately, Nadia dives for the ball, getting to hit it with her padded arm before Kalista, who makes the dive much too late. The ball spins off, and Kalista's arm misses, but manages to deliver a blow to Nadia's gut. Alena has fallen off towards the ceiling, jumps off and over the incoming ball. The ball bounces off the ceiling and comes towards the back of Alena's head. Alena ducks and hits the ball to tilt towards the Eastern wall, where Nadia and Kalista are delivering blows to eachother. The men are having fun below with their sticks [Editor's Note: Snicker].) [On the Ground] Quinn: Watch out honey, come on! [At the table] McBride: Wow! Alena executes a brilliant move and lands on the floor of the cube. The ball goes right between Nadia and Kalista, who manage to break off before the ball pings one of them in the head! Colburn: Nadia manages to catch a bit of the ball and send it towards Alena, Kalista's controller has got her out of the way by altering her gravity towards the ceiling! McBride: The ball is bouncing wildly now, Alena on the floor, Kalista on the ceiling, and Nadia on the Eastern wall. Colburn: Alena and Kalista jump for eachother and lock arms, holding onto eachother! McBride: Wow, they must be nearly perfectly balanced to manage that! Colburn: It's like they're both hanging off of eachother. No wait, Alena spins upwards to deliver a kick, which is beautifully blocked by Kalista, sending Alena towards the ball, which has stopped moving. McBride: Alena manages to block the ball with her pad and send it towards Nadia, who has just made a move towards Kalista. Colburn: Wow, an anti-grav roundhouse kick to Kalista's unsuspecting head! McBride: Who says Physics isn't fun? Colburn: Me. [On the Ground] Dark Angel: Hey William, watch it! William: What? Haven't got enough practice handling the machinery? Quinn: Nah, he just isn't competent. Archangel: Hey, I'm supposed to be your partner. Quinn: (laughs) Relax, just joking. William: Ah ha, Alena just missed Nadia's stomach by inches. Quinn: Oh yeah? (He alters the gravity, Alena swings back around towards Nadia, beaning her in the head with a missile dropkick) William: Damn! [In the Cube] Nadia: Will you guys please pay attention?! Alena: Yeah, really! (Alena is breathing heavily, suddenly the ball flies towards her face courtesy of Nadia. Alena does a backflip off the floor and lands on the Southern wall, does another backflip and lands on the ceiling, and another to land on the Northern wall. She then deflects the oncoming ball towards Nadia's face, who promptly trips Kalista off the Eastern Floor and pulls her out to use as a shield.) [On the Ground] Archangel: Oh no you don't! (He alters the gravity, sending Kalista and Nadia into the ceiling, Kalista managing to land on Nadia. Nadia coughs up a bit of blood.) William: Hey that wasn't fair! [In the Cube] Nadia: Ouch! Watch it! Kalista: Yeah, really Archangel! [On the Ground] Archangel: Ack! (His left eye twitches) Dark Angel: Wimp, let me show you how to win this. (Dark Angel promptly spinkicks and knocks the controls out of William's hand.) William: Hey! Quinn: Now, now you guys. William: Forget this, I want to finish what we started! Quinn: Say what? (The LimousineDriver is quickly silenced by a spinning Lariat to his own face from William. All three of them have dropped their controls and begin to slug it out between them.) [At the Table] McBride: Dude? Colburn: Geeze, now we got two fights going on! McBride: Not really, without the controls, the three women are gonna have to fight on just one side of the cube. Colburn: So? McBride: Good point. [In the Cube] Alena: Alex...ALEX! Nadia: Goddamnit, William! Kalista: I have a feeling that boys will be boys. Alena: Well, what about us! (Nadia takes a swing and knocks the ball into the ceiling, pelting it back down towards Alena's head, who quickly dodges and does a baseball slide into Kalista, knocking her over.) Nadia: That's the spirit! (They all start to hit the ball at eachother, frantically dodging and getting in a random punch whenever they can manage.) [At the table] McBride: There's so much going on, we can't possibly cover it all! Colburn: No kidding! McBride: Well...uh, I'm surprised Alena can keep up with the other two, considering her earlier match. Colburn: Yeah...maybe that stupid drug is doing it to her. McBride: Maybe I'll put the doctors on standby. Colburn: Maybe you should do that. Woah, look outside the cube! [On the Ground] (Dark Angel pulls a roundhouse punch, knocking Quinn to the ground. William has already been DDT'd by Dark Angel and is lying beneath Quinn. Dark Angel is breathing hard now, but has major upper advantage. He picks Quinn off of William and sets him up for a cross powerbomb. While Quinn is lying against Dark Angel's back, he wakes up and manages to reverse the move by landing on Dark Angel's shoulders and twisting Dark Angel *right into* William's body.) [In the Cube] Alena: I...(she starts breathing heavily)...you guys? (Both Nadia and Kalista stop fighting, the ball stops after hitting a wall.) Kalista: What? We're in the middle of a match! Alena: I can't feel my head anymo--ah... (She falls to the ground unconscious.) Nadia: Alena! Kalista: Wait, let me take a look at her! (Kalista kneels over Alena. Suddenly, Alena's hand shoots up and manages to start choking Kalista easily. Nadia jumps back startled and Kalista can do nothing but choke for air.) Alena: You... (Alena let's go and clutches her head in agony. Suddenly she looks up with a different look in her eyes.) [At the Table] Colburn: Uh oh, I know that look! McBride: Okay, I just buzzed the doctors to come. Colburn: Wait a minute, how are they gonna get her out of the cube? McBride: Oh yeah, it took us nearly an hour to get it set up! [On the Ground] (William has managed to get up around this time, Dark Angel and Quinn are fighting it out in a grapple, both trying to get an advantage and failing. Dark Angel manages to break through and charge his shoulder into Alex, knocking him on his back. William is about to attack when Quinn holds up his hands in surrender.) William: What? Quinn: Look up! William: I'm not falling for that. Archangel: No, he's right, look! Quinn: What's going on in the cube? William: Oh, sh*t! I forgot! (They all look up to see Nadia and Kalista trying to hold Alena down. Alena has started bleeding for no apparent reason and is screaming murder!) [In the Cube] Nadia: About time you guys looked up! Kalista: Yeah, what do we do? [On the Ground] Quinn: Get her with the ball! It sedates the opponent using a special kind of electricity, remember? [In the Cube] Kalista: Yes, I remember why we wear the pad on our arms...Okay, let's do it! (They both let go of Alena, who then promptly jumps back on defense. Nadia throws the ball towards Alena, who does a backflip and sends it back by swatting with her arm between her legs. Nadia manages to avoid it, and Kalista charges Alena to keep her busy.) Alena: Two against one? Sure, why not? (She begins to laugh and manages to grab Kalista's punch in mid-air. Kalista tries to pull back, but Alena squeezes it and sends Kalista's own elbow into [Editor's note: Kalista's] gut. Kalista pulls back in pain, holding onto her hand. The ball flies back towards Alena, but she manages to deflect the shot.) [On the Ground] William: Has your wife lost it?! Quinn: Yes she has. Archangel: Goddamnit, we need to get them out of there! Quinn: What? And Compromise the room? If any of those walls break, a gravity well will build and we'll all be in zero gravity in no time. [In the Cube] Alena: Hey, good idea. [At the Table] Colburn: Iaian! Turn off the two-way! McBride: Ah, sh*t! Colburn: Oh this can't be good, come on, let's get in there! McBride: Why? Colburn: You're the guy who knows about the Physics, maybe we can shut it down! McBride: Are you nuts?! I only read off the paper! (Colburn drags McBride off from the table and they both leave.) [In the Cube] Nadia: Ack! Stop her, she probably has enough strength to break it now! Kalista: Damn that stupid drug! (They both bounce off opposite walls and double spear Alena from each side. Alena shrieks as they attempt to hold her down. She manages to uppercut Nadia and throw her off. Kalista hits Alena in the back of the head, sending her down into the ground. Nadia then comes down to pin Alena to the floor, but Alena manages to roll out of the way. She then jumps up, off the Eastern Floor, and double axehandles the glass wall.) [On the Ground] Quinn: Uh oh, everyone grab onto the gymnasium set on the other side of the room! (The camera moves so we can see that indeed a bar set has been set up on the other side of the room. We can now recognize this room as the training facility on the Hospice grounds. Quinn, Angel, and William grab onto a part of it as glass begins to scatter in the air.) (Before the glass even hits the ground, it starts to float and gets sucked back towards the center of the cube. The ball begins to fly towards the center as well, hitting an unsuspecting Kalista in the back of the head. Green electricity passes through her body and she closes her eyes.) Nadia: Kalista! Oh great. (Kalista is hovering in mid air, stuck near the center of where the cube used to be. Alena is opposite her in the air. It seems that the well gets stronger as it goes out. Near the three guys, the wind is howling and they are trying their hardest to stay on the bar set. Up near the cube, the ball is circling like a planet, both women managing to avoid it.) Alena: Let's play some Pong. (She hits the ball, sending it outwards, but of course, the gravity pulls it back. It screams towards Nadia's head, who manages to deflect it, but the force is so great that we hear the loud thump against her arm and it sends her into Alena. They begin to spin around the center with the ball.) (Suddenly, the gravity well cuts out and we hear all the power shut off from the room [Editor's Note: including lights]. We hear a large buzzing sound and a flash of green electricity. The emergency lights come back on and Nadia is lying on the floor unconscious. Alena has picked herself up, but immediately passes out from the extreme bloodloss [Editor's Note: which has been flowing from her nose and mouth because of the drug's effect apparently].) McBride: Wow, I actually managed to shut off that complex machinery? (McBride and Colburn walk in through the door to the gym. The three guys on the bar set are stumbling about weakly from the extreme pressure. All of them have nosebleeds.) Colburn: All you did was hit the off button. McBride: Dude! It was hard to find! Colburn: It was big and red! McBride: ...whatever. Quinn: Thanks you guys, that was getting out of control. Colburn: Who won? William: Um...well, I guess it was still kinda... Archangel: According to the rules, Alena won that match. McBride: Hmmmm, must have been luck. Quinn: Definitely. Let's get out of here. (The go to the women and help them up, paramedics start streaming in through the door.) McBride: Goddamnit, took 'em long enough. Colburn: Well, at least this night was good. McBride: Yeah...well, that's a wrap! Colburn: Man, you're cliches are pretty pathetic. McBride: Ey!