[I wish to apologize. I know that many of you have stopped roleplaying because of the immense delays last week, and that is why this card is our most pathetic yet. Just rest assured that once this New Layout (geeze, starting to sound like a miracle now) is up, well it's always darkest before dawn. At any rate, I wanna thank those who have stuck with the Webmaster, when he deserves to get sacked. Many of you are wondering about the Newsletter and where I disappeared to. Well, I took a break from the site last weekend, but I'm pretty sure this New Layout will be up either Thursday or Friday...not much later than that.] Monday, July 17th 2000: Monday Night Mutilation Card #13 - Match #1 Slash Vs. SuperBeast Author: Jeff Davidson [Vice President] Match: Forest Hunt match. Rules: None, last man standing must leave the forest to win. Titles: None. Commentators: Iaian McBride, James Colburn ____________________________________________________________________ McBride: Well, welcome back to the Havoc Dominion once again! Colburn: Yeah, we're in our shiny new arena! McBride: That's right. Big, black, and twice as mean. Colburn: Sounds like the Westside of New York. McBride: Hmmm, well, whatever...another week and our office will be back up! Colburn: Yeah, maybe then the wrestlers will return. McBride: Aw, come on dude, think of it as a vacation. Colburn: No problem, but I'm getting restless. McBride: You didn't have that problem last week, except with your blood... issues. Colburn: What? I don't have any issues. The first match was pretty cool. McBride: Dude, we're doing the "first" match now. Colburn: That's not what I meant, I know we were delayed, but...ah forget it. McBride: Virus vs. Shadow is what you meant! Colburn: Yeah, with all the losses on that bastards side, you'd think he'd be f*cked against Virus, but nope. McBride: No kidding, but dude, he had a flamethrower, remember? Colburn: Oh yeah, Shadow's so called magic. McBride: Yeah, the next match was pretty cool. Colburn: Yeah, and neither one was gonna stay down in that match. McBride: Geeze, the blood was starting to pour over the side of the ring onto the floor. Colburn: Yeah...that was cool. McBride: Man, you have got to lose this thing. Colburn: Next was Gothic Vs. DAND. McBride: Man, Gothic is killer. Colburn: Yeah, DAND should have signed an insurance policy before taking that one on. McBride: Yet, he still goes all insane, letting the tigers loose! Colburn: Yeah, to his own demise. Though I hear they reattached his hand. McBride: Yeah so-- (The Havoc Viewscreen flickers on to pitch blackness. The noise of a helicopter drowns out any other possible noises.) McBride: Whoah, nevermind. Colburn: Hey, hey! Can we filter that out? (The helicopter noise disappears and the sounds of a forest at night fill the arena.) Colburn: That's better. McBride: Alright, James. Fill me in here, how are we gonna see the action? Colburn: Very simple. We've got three helicopters out there equipped with spotlights and cameras. One of them is bound to see something and when they do we switch to that helicopter. McBride: I guess that means we'll miss quite a bit of the action. Colburn: We'll catch the main parts, don't worry. (On the screen, a spotlight is turned on illuminating a small patch of the forest. The trees are not very thick and it is easy to see the forest floor. A few seconds after the spotlight is turned on, two more appear elsewhere in the forest. All three begin scowering the forest for signs of Beast or Slash.) McBride: This could take a while. Colburn: Patience. Blood will be shed soon enough. McBride: I'm not entirely interested in blood, unlike someone I know. I'd much rather see a good clean fight between two animals. Colburn: ...Moron. (Just then, something darts across the plane of light. It is too fast to make out however, but it was large enough to be a man.) Colburn: Hey, who or what was that? McBride: Who knows, but maybe we'll find out. (The helicopter follows the direction of the figure. After a short while, growling and snarling can be heard. Two figures rolling around on the ground come into view, and we can plainly see Beast and Slash biting and clawing one another. Slash has Beast by the arm with his teeth and is shaking him violently. Beast grabs Slash by the head and throws him into a nearby tree, tearing some of the flesh off his arm. Slash impacts with the tree and lets out a yelp. His teeth are stained red.) Colburn: Oh hoh, yes. McBride: Dude! Are you having orgasms or something?...wait a minute, don't answer that. Colburn: Yeah, so I have problems. Big deal. McBride: Ugh. (Beast's wound begins to bleed but he ignores it and tries to pounce on Slash. Slash sees it coming and leg flips Beast into the tree. Beast hits the tree with his back but pushes himself off and onto Slash. He then proceeds to beat and claw him. Slash doesn't take this for long as he punches Beast solidly in the jaw, knocking him off. Slash has a few cuts on his face which begin to leak a bit of blood down into his mouth. He merely licks his lips to clean it off.) McBride: God. That reminds me of someone I know. Colburn: Dark Angel? McBride: I was gonna say you, but he works too. Colburn: Hey, I resent that! (Beast gets back up and he and Slash tie up. Slash wins out almost immediately and pushes Beast up against the tree. Beast actually climbs the tree with his legs and flips forward landing with his back to Slash. He then flips Slash over his head onto the ground. Slash lands hard on a root and yelps again. Beast goes to grab Slash's head but Slash brings his foot up and kicks Beast in the head. Before Beast can recover, Slash disappears into the dark. Beast follows him.) McBride: Ah, damnit! Where'd they go? Colburn: It was just getting interesting too! McBride: Wait, hang on...you hear that? Colburn: ... (More snarling and growling can be heard, but it sounds different. The view switches to one of the other cameras and we can see Beast and Slash fighting together against a rather large bear. Slash is attached to the bear's throat while Beast is nearly ripping off one of its legs. The two men let go and the bear runs off screaming bloody murder [just an expression]. They then disappear into the darkness again.) Colburn: Sucks to be the bear. McBride: That's putting it mildly. Colburn: Oh well. That'll teach him to mess with the two legged things I guess. McBride: Riiight. Maybe the bear will report them to the local ranger. Colburn: (laughs) Hey, I can see the headline now "Bear mauling in reverse. Full story inside." McBride: Dude! Look! (Slash and Beast come flying into view. They both have large gashes across their arms and chest. They crash against a tree, and just as they land an even larger bear comes raging into view. It charges straight at them and they just barely avoid it. It crashes through the tree as if it were a toothpick and then turns around snarling.) Colburn: Oh dear, he does not look happy. McBride: What gave you that idea!? Colburn: I think it was the teeth, and the fact that you could see them. McBride: Brilliant deduction. Colburn: Watch out! Here he comes! (The bear charges Beast and Slash again. This time Slash manages to latch onto it's throat and he starts gnawing. Beast keeps the claws busy by constantly aggravating the bear further. It's loss of air doesn't seem to be affecting it and it gets in a few good gashes on Beast's arm once again. It then gets in a few good licks on Slash, who is literally dangling from the bear's throat. Blood stains the ground all over the immediate area, and finally the bear seems to be slowing down. The other helicopters move into positions to illuminate the area further.) Colburn: Alright, get 'im down! McBride: Dude, calm down. It's just a stupid bear. Colburn: Yeah, but it's huge! And it already roughed them up pretty badly! McBride: Well, let's hope they don't forget that this is a match, not a dinner hunt. Colburn: Actually, I've heard bear does taste rather good [Author's note: It does, I've had it before. Yummy.[Editor's Note: Hey, this is *my* job! :)]]. (The bear is now on the ground. It's movements seem laboured and slow. After a while it stops moving altogether. Slash keeps his grip for a little longer, and then releases. He spits out a bit of hair. From out of nowhere, Beast tackles Slash down and starts pummeling him.) Colburn: What the heck!? I did not see that coming! McBride: You, me and Slash both! (Beast keeps pummeling Slash until Slash finally manages to kick him off. Slash gets up and now has a bleeding lip to go along with his other wounds. He rubs the blood away and then rushes Beast. They fall to the ground in a flurry of kicks, punches, claws, bites, roars, and yelps.) McBride: Like two animals fighting over a piece of meat. Colburn: Heh. Maybe they are. There's a freshly killed bear just laying there after all. McBride: Good point. (The two continue to savagely tear at each other while rolling all over the ground. New puddles of blood are formed on the ground as they pass over. Soon enough, the entire area is stained red. They are moving so fast that is hard to concentrate on any exact movements they are doing. We can only go by the sounds which happen to be mostly snarling, roaring and yelping. Finally the two break away from each other and stand away in low crouches, eyeing one another.) McBride: I think they're done. Colburn: Think again. (Beast suddenly rushes Slash and spears him into a tree. He then starts punching him heavily in the chest while roaring. The tree doesn't stand this for long and starts to crack. Beast keeps punching and eventually the tree breaks and begins to fall over towards the two. Beast gets out of the way, but Slash is caught under the tree. The tree impacts with Slash still under it and he disappears into the ground, back first.) McBride: Good God! Slash is crushed! Colburn: Can he survive that!? McBride: No way! Every bone in his body must be broken! Colburn: Eek! McBride: !!!? (The fallen tree begins to stir. After a few seconds a hand emerges from the side and pushes it to the side. Slash is embedded in the ground and covered with blood and dirt. He sits up and shakes himself off, then looks at Beast. Beast is positively stunned as Slash gets to his feet. Out of nowhere, Slash rushes Beast and picks him up over his head. He then throws him into a tree head first. Beast impacts and the tree is nearly cracked in half from the impact. It begins to fall, but Beast manages to roll out of the way. When he manages to slowly get to his feet, Slash has disappeared into the darkness again.) McBride and Colburn: Holy f*ck!! McBride: Dude, did I see that right!? Colburn: I don't know! Did I!? McBride: All I know is I saw Slash get crushed by a tree and he just shook it off!! Colburn: Well, that's what I saw!! McBride and Colburn: Dude!! (Beast shakes off his dizziness and then runs off into the darkness.) Colburn: Ah, damnit. Not again! McBride: Totally! Now we have to find them again! Colburn: ...Or maybe not. (As the helicopters move after Beast and Slash, we see Beast come into view within a few seconds. He is sniffing the air and looking around. Slash is nowhere to be seen. Then just on the edge of the light, a shadow moves up in the trees. Beast sees it out of the corner of his eye, but pretends not to and continues looking around and sniffing the air. Slash then jumps out of the trees straight at Beast, but Beast counters by grabbing him and slamming him straight into a tree. Slash is surprised by this and is forced to take the full brunt of the impact. He impacts the tree full force with his lower back and we hear a loud snap. Whether it was the tree or Slash's back is unclear, but Slash collapses to the ground crying out in pain. A few seconds is all it takes for Slash to slip into unconsciousness.) Colburn: Oh man, that sounded like it hurt like a son-of-a-b*tch. McBride: I completely agree, but believe it or not, the match isn't over yet. Colburn: Oh right. Beast has to find his way out of the forest. McBride: That's right. And there are certain aspects of that escape. Colburn: Like what? (The spotlights on the helicopters are all shut off.) Colburn: Oh. McBride: We have stations set up around the perimeter of the forest so if he comes out we'll see him. Colburn: I guess now we just wait. McBride: Yep. Nothing for us now but the sound of the forest. Colburn: Sigh. (With the fight over, nothing can be heard but the natural sounds of the forest. Some of the audience actually falls asleep, but they are awakened by the sound of a loud roar. After the roar, nothing can be heard as the entire forest falls silent.) Colburn: Uh oh. McBride: Uh oh indeed. A silent forest is never a good thing. Colburn: Let's just hope it was Beast letting off some steam. McBride: Agreed. (Just then a man's voice comes over the speakers.) Man: They're out! Repeat, they're out! Colburn: Who's that? McBride: One of the guys at one of the stations I would think. Colburn: (hits a switch) What do you mean they? Man: Beast and Slash sir. They're both out. Beast was dragging Slash behind him when he emerged. McBride: Is Slash still unconcsious? Man: Out like a light sir. (The speakers cut out.) McBride: Damn! Lost him. Colburn: Well, Beast won didn't he? McBride: He should have. He came out first anyway so I would imagine he is the winner. Colburn: Ah, who cares anyway. They both deserve a win. That was one heck of a fight. McBride: Complete agreement on my part. And Beast even had the courtesy to get Slash out in his tired condition. Colburn: A rare thing is honour in this fed. McBride: Not rare...just not very common. Colburn: Close enough for me. McBride: Man, it's too bad this is the only fight of the night. Colburn: Well, I'm gonna get some sleep before the next one. McBride: Hey! I'm sure things will get much more interesting. Colburn: Yeah...I just worry about The Drug.